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Discussion Starter #1
What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 350yards.

Tiger wasn't seriously injured in the crash, but he's still below par.

Tiger crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn’t decide between an iron and a wood.

Why didn’t Tiger want to talk to the cops? He wanted to improve his lie.

I left work and drove home without hitting a tree. This clearly means I can out drive Tiger. *rimshot*

After investigation of the Escalade, it was proven that the steering system failed. Once again, Tiger can blame his loss on his.......Caddie!!!!

more to come....
 

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Discussion Starter #10
Tiger has changed his name to..




..............












.....................










...............................................




Wait.....................................................











It's coming...............................................














Cheetah Woods!
 

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Discussion Starter #15
I sent her the necklace I bought for my wife for x-mas, and a note stating that I am pretty much a loser, but that is really what she needs. Someone that will appreciate her.

I will let you know what her response is, or I will post when I get out of jail.
 

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Discussion Starter #16
Early Dismissal............................... --


It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal.

Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today."

Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question."

Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."

Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."

Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.

Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."

Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."

Johnny is even madder than before.

Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."

Teacher: "That's right Nancy , you may also leave."

Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions.

When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these girls would keep their mouths shut!"

The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"

Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?
 

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Doesn't Tiger wish:

Hole In One

As a young man, Norton was an exceptional golfer. At the age of 26, however, he decided to become a priest, and joined a rather peculiar order. He took the usual vows of poverty,chastity, but his order also required that he quit golf and never play again. This was particularly difficult for Norton, but he agreed and was finally ordained a priest.

One Sunday morning, the Reverend Father Norton woke up and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf.
So... he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and convinced him to say Mass for him that day.

As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away. This way he knew he wouldn't accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish.

Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church!

At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed, "You're not going to let him get away with this, are you?"

The Lord sighed, and said, "No, I guess not.

"Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole. It was a 420 yard hole in one!

St. Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked, "Why did you let him do that?"

The Lord smiled and replied,"Who is he going to tell?"
Ernie
 

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Re camping

i went camping last week deep in the woods. i pitched my tent.went to the creek to get coffee water.built a fire made supper & coffee. it got late.so i went to bed such as it was.i woke up late late that night & lay there looking at the stars & how clear the sky was.then i realized someone stold my tent
 
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