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Maximum Crop & Earthquake Proof Hive Stand

3626 Views 26 Replies 9 Participants Last post by  odfrank
I get so sick and tired of Charlie and Ray bragging about their ant proof hive stands. I just don't have ant problems that worry me. But out here in California we have earthquakes and bears. Global Warming could bring about a resurgence of Woolly Mammoths and Mastodons. Those are dangers that could damage a lightweight hive stand that we have to be prepared for. I set up a new apiary for a client who had antique 8X8 redwood beams left over from construction right at the apiary location. I am so impressed with myself for using them to make this new hive stand. But Charlie thinks it is a big yawn. I am at a loss on how to impress him.
Two problems with the new apiary: too shady and no private corner in which to pee.


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I have heard 3 days of bragging about this hive stand. He said there was no where to go to the bathroom and sent me this pic:

Wood Apiary Bee Beehive Lumber
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I then asked him to send me a pic of him with his stand and he sent me this pic:

Wood Apiary Tree Bee Honeybee
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I would be really impressed if you did chainsaw carving into the hive stand and made it really artistic. You would have to do it yourself, no hiring an outside artist to do the work. Carvings of bees or flowers would be nice.

FYI, I just love the ongoing competition between you two. It is always good for a laugh. I am sure you two go out to the bar on a regular basis just to plan what the next public argument will be about.
I would be really impressed if you did chainsaw carving into the hive stand and made it really artistic. You would have to do it yourself, no hiring an outside artist to do the work. Carvings of bees or flowers would be nice.
The client will scream when she gets my invoice for this stand, artwork might make her go over the top. Although...if you can afford a personal beekeeper, you can afford some artwork. I should suggest it to her.
odfrank, did the construction crew do a decent job of leveling those beams before vacating the site?
odfrank, did the construction crew do a decent job of leveling those beams before vacating the site?
No. It is a poor access site for us and was for them. The stand is on a few inches of clay fill they left behind. The beams were just left behind in a pile of lumber. We installed them level which was complex for a simple mind like mine. The back beam is a full length 8X8. The front beam is a 6X8 cleated together with a 6X6. This made getting the piers at the right height quite a conundrum. I was going to hire Charlie, who is a construction mastermind, to come down and help us. But he considers us down in San Mateo County "bumpkins", and would probably have refused. He is too busy mingling with the sophisticated Urbumkins (as I call them) up in San Francisco.
I believe in adding a certain level of sophistication to beekeeping yards.

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If you really want to add sophistication, the feeders need to have Dom Perignon and the protein patties will need to be made from real Kobe beef imported from Japan. The bee suit needs to be Christian Dior. My bees have gotten a bit snooty with all these good treats and won't forage any more. They hire other bees to do it for them. At minimum wage of course.
Charlie,
How many stations do your bees get on their Satellite TV?

Did odfrank tell you the bathroom vents make good swarm lures? Better than his logs?

Does he think the house numbers cut down on drifting?
If you really want to add sophistication, the feeders need to have Dom Perignon and the protein patties will need to be made from real Kobe beef imported from Japan. The bee suit needs to be Christian Dior. My bees have gotten a bit snooty with all these good treats and won't forage any more. They hire other bees to do it for them. At minimum wage of course.
You see Ollie? Dudelt, being from our glorious sister city in Seattle undoubtedly knows how to run sophisticated apiaries!!!:cool:
Charlie,
How many stations do your bees get on their Satellite TV?

Did odfrank tell you the bathroom vents make good swarm lures? Better than his logs?

Does he think the house numbers cut down on drifting?
:lpf:
No. It is a poor access site for us and was for them. The stand is on a few inches of clay fill they left behind. The beams were just left behind in a pile of lumber. We installed them level which was complex for a simple mind like mine. The back beam is a full length 8X8. The front beam is a 6X8 cleated together with a 6X6. This made getting the piers at the right height quite a conundrum. I was going to hire Charlie, who is a construction mastermind, to come down and help us. But he considers us down in San Mateo County "bumpkins", and would probably have refused. He is too busy mingling with the sophisticated Urbumkins (as I call them) up in San Francisco.
Golly odfrank, next time you need something leveled, remember I'm just a phone call away. With all my experience leveling hives here in the rugged mountains of Kansas, I'd be glad to help out where needed. :D
I would be really impressed if you did chainsaw carving into the hive stand and made it really artistic. You would have to do it yourself, no hiring an outside artist to do the work. Carvings of bees or flowers would be nice.
... or even a dragon ?



:) LJ
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... or even a dragon ?



:) LJ
Now THAT is a hive stand!!! Hives on each wing!
Now THAT is a hive stand!!! Hives on each wing!
If anyone's interested - this is a link to a BBC article: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-47103392 That dragon (the emblem of Wales) was carved from a felled oak using a chainsaw - the amount of fine detail is amazing.
Enjoy.
LJ
If anyone's interested - this is a link to a BBC article: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-47103392 That dragon (the emblem of Wales) was carved from a felled oak using a chainsaw - the amount of fine detail is amazing.
Enjoy.
LJ
That is amazing- thanks for sharing.
What that thing needs is a hive cavity inside that head and neck. Bee breathing dragon.
Oliver is still texting me bragging about this goofy hive stand. He sent me this pic today!

Wood Apiary Bee Tree Honeybee
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Actually as of this afternoon I am as much impressed with myself over our 8/3/19 born home grafted queens as I was earlier over the 8X8 hive stand. Five frame divides made end of July are now 10 frames getting packed on the eucalyptus flow. Some like this need a super or upper brood chamber if the weather holds.

Charlie I apologize for bragging to you every day. I just can't stop being impressed with myself.

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