Re: I just killed both my queens, am I crazy?
You got it right, dispatch means kill. Mel however, has more than two hives. You need to adjust some of the advice to fit your situation.
Regarding the opinions at your bee club, if it is anything like mine, there are really only a few experienced folks there. Most are newbees or beehavers that really do not have much to offer other than what they saw on Youtube. To help separate wheat from the chaff, do not take advice from a beekeeper that has to buy bees every year, or complains of high losses year over year.
Most things in beekeeping do make sense and you knew it when you felt guilty about killing your productive queen. Listen to those insticts.
Thankfully, the bees are smarter than I am. They are doing well, in spite of my efforts to help them.