Had an interesting thing happen yesterday when retrieving a swarm
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  1. #1
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    Jan 2013
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    Default Had an interesting thing happen yesterday when retrieving a swarm

    A friend called me mid-morning yesterday to tell me of a swarm that he and a friend of his had stumbled across. I had helped the friend of mine get his first hive setup last year, and his interest in keeping bees has skyrocketed since then. I asked if he was sure he didn't want it, and he said no, so I headed over to retrieve the swarm. It was an easy capture of a nice-sized swarm, about 3' off the ground on a fence rail. I put a nuc under it, slapped the fence rail, and into the box they fell. The friend of his had started keeping this year, so I looked to him to ask if he was also sure he didn't want it. He first said no but then changed his mind and said "sure I'll take it."

    So I basically caught a swarm for someone. And I had to tell him that I wanted my box and frames back after he got them transferred to his equipment. Am I the only one that thinks this is a little strange to take a swarm that someone else hived? I was too dumbfounded at the time to say anything to the contrary, and after all I had offered it to him so should have been OK with him saying yes.
    I'm the dude, so that's what you call me.

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  3. #2
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    Feb 2014
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    Clinton, Iowa
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    Default Re: Had an interesting thing happen yesterday when retrieving a swarm

    Send him an invoice.

  4. #3
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    Red Bud, IL, USA
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    Default Re: Had an interesting thing happen yesterday when retrieving a swarm

    You offered and he accepted; not exactly polite on his part but .........

  5. #4
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    Default Re: Had an interesting thing happen yesterday when retrieving a swarm

    Quote Originally Posted by Eikel View Post
    You offered and he accepted; not exactly polite on his part but .........
    Yeah I know. Like I said I should have expected him to say yes, but I was surprised that he did because I wouldn't have the balls to do that after watching someone else hive the swarm in their own equipment and then take that equipment home with me.
    I'm the dude, so that's what you call me.

  6. #5
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    Default Re: Had an interesting thing happen yesterday when retrieving a swarm

    Must have been the way he was raised, my old man would have handed me my @$$ for that type behavior. But then again, I betting that type of offer to him was actually double - the first and freaking last.

  7. #6
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    Default Re: Had an interesting thing happen yesterday when retrieving a swarm

    Quote Originally Posted by Eikel View Post
    Must have been the way he was raised, my old man would have handed me my @$$ for that type behavior. But then again, I betting that type of offer to him was actually double - the first and freaking last.
    It was a lesson to me. I won't make the same offer again. I will help someone that wants to get into swarm catching, but they will do the work and provide the equipment next time.
    I'm the dude, so that's what you call me.

  8. #7
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    Sacramento, CA, USA
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    Default Re: Had an interesting thing happen yesterday when retrieving a swarm

    Well, you asked him.... and not to say I would've accepted either, but if you offer something up, why be surprised if someone takes it?

  9. #8
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    Shreveport, Louisiana, USA
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    Default Re: Had an interesting thing happen yesterday when retrieving a swarm

    Words matter.
    David Matlock

  10. #9
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    Dec 2015
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    Harrison Ar
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    Default Re: Had an interesting thing happen yesterday when retrieving a swarm

    I'm a little shocked. Don't offer if you don't mean it. I see no problem with him taking it. Rude to ask if you do not mean it.

  11. #10
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    Jan 2015
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    Richmond, VA
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    Default Re: Had an interesting thing happen yesterday when retrieving a swarm

    Quote Originally Posted by Riverderwent View Post
    Words matter.
    Exactly - people can't read your mind, so its important to say what you mean. If you don't want to give something to someone, don't offer it.

    Many people think its rude to refuse a gift - apparently people in this thread think its rude to accept one. Making assumptions about social norms in a society as mixed as ours is just asking for misunderstandings.

  12. #11
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    May 2015
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    cantonment, fl
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    Default Re: Had an interesting thing happen yesterday when retrieving a swarm

    i can see it both ways. i have a buddy that will call me to go catch swarms for him always on his equipment but he usually gives the bees to me. i do give his boxes and all back though. he just likes watching the show and if the bees are really gentle he will keep them. i get all the hot ones!

  13. #12
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    Vernon, AZ. USA
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    Default Re: Had an interesting thing happen yesterday when retrieving a swarm

    I was taught to say what you mean ,and to ask for what you want, if you do want it.

    To be hurt, after offering someone a swarm, thinking they don't want it, is petty. No one thinks less of you, if you do not make false offers, to make you seem generous. Quite the opposite, if you do.

    You are in the right to ask for your hive parts back. But If you didn't mean it you should have held your tongue.

    You were surprised they took it. Were you lying when you offered? I was raised to mean what I say, and stick to a deal I made. Or to not open my mouth if I didn't intend to carry thru. My folks taught me that was an untrustworthy way, to look out for in others , and never do myself.

    Funny how different folks can be.

  14. #13
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    Kirksville, Missouri USA
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    Default Re: Had an interesting thing happen yesterday when retrieving a swarm

    I have taught my children, if they ask me a question like, daddy, can I do this or that?, they better be able to happily accept which ever answer I give them. Don't bother asking if you can't accept my answer.
    It sounds like you were playing a game and didn't win.

  15. #14
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    Jan 2016
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    Ozark, AL
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    Default Re: Had an interesting thing happen yesterday when retrieving a swarm

    Quote Originally Posted by JRG13 View Post
    Well, you asked him.... and not to say I would've accepted either, but if you offer something up, why be surprised if someone takes it?
    This is the point. You offered/asked him if he wanted the swarm. Maybe he was taught that it is not polite to turn down something that you are offered - even if you do not want it. Just accept and say thanks. You made the offer. It would have been different if he had asked you for the swarm and to borrow your equipment.

  16. #15
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    Dutchtown,Louisiana,USA
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    Default Re: Had an interesting thing happen yesterday when retrieving a swarm

    I don't see a problem, you asked. New age thinking I guess to act nice and not mean it. Yankee thing maybe?

  17. #16
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    Richmond, VA
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    Default Re: Had an interesting thing happen yesterday when retrieving a swarm

    Quote Originally Posted by dtrooster View Post
    I don't see a problem, you asked. New age thinking I guess to act nice and not mean it. Yankee thing maybe?
    I see way more of it down south than I did when I lived in New England. People actually say what they mean up there, whether or not you want to hear it.

  18. #17
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    Default Re: Had an interesting thing happen yesterday when retrieving a swarm

    That so? I guess I'm fortunate to run with a good crowd

  19. #18
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    Panama City, Florida, USA
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    Default Re: Had an interesting thing happen yesterday when retrieving a swarm

    So if you did not want to give it to him, why in the world did you offer it to him! Way I see it, you either offer sincerely because you are a good guy, or offer insincerely, because you want to appear to be a good guy. last way is you offer out of politeness, with the expectation that the offer will be declined out of politeness. But in this instance there was no existing decorum that should have made it necessary to offer. With that in mind, there was no existing reason for the offer to be deemed "from politeness" therefore no reason to feel it rude to accept.

    Simple answer, if you did not intend to give it away, you should not have offered.

  20. #19
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    Mogollon Rim, Arizona 85933
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    Default Re: Had an interesting thing happen yesterday when retrieving a swarm

    I have an add on craigslist, and I get the occasional email asking me if I will give them frre bees, my reply is $250.00 in a 8frame deep with top and bottom and no guarantee of a queen or colony survival after they take possession.
    No one ever replies after that.
    If someone did I would be more than happy to sell them a swarm.

  21. #20
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    Dec 2014
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    Vancouver Wa
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    Default Re: Had an interesting thing happen yesterday when retrieving a swarm

    I actually did this for a friend a week or so ago, we were going to take their empty hive and catch it for them but I got the call before they brought the hive so I told her to meet me there. She had never caught a swarm so her and her husband watched while we caught it for them. Of coarse they have truffles on their property and allow us to harvest them for free so we kind of owe them big time. But I really didnt mind and I have all the hives I want currently and it is fun to help/teach a new beekeeper the ropes.

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