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Top 10 Signs to Retire from Beekeeping (a la Dave Letterman)

From Dec. 1995 and March 1996 beekeeper newsletters.

10. Your friends think you look better with your veil on.
9. You take off your hat in a restaurant and someone throws a dollar in it.
8. You’re heading back to Montana after the almonds and see a sign saying “Welcome to Phoenix”.
7. You put a little Bee-Go behind your ears before heading out for a night on the town.
6. The Mayo clinic requests permission to use you as an example of the cumulative effect of bee stings.
5. You find your coveralls stuck to the seat at the local cafe and are forced to leave them behind.
4. A biker asks directions to the nearest restaurant and you perform a short waggle dance. He punches your lights out.
3. You wear an Apistan strip around your neck to formal events.
2. You’re asked to give a talk at a local school and you give an hour demonstration on frying varroa with a magnifying glass.
1. Your wife kicks you out of the house in the fall and doesn’t let you back in until spring.