I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger, then it hit me!
What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.
When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
Energizer Bunny arrested: charged with battery.
PMS jokes aren't funny. Period.
A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
They told me I have type A blood, but it was a Type O.
We sat across from a couple at a banquet. The guy was saying how some people he knew gave their mom a vacuum cleaner for a gift. "That sucks", he said not realizing the irony. "Yes", I replied, "and if they had given her a snow blower instead, that would blow!"
We were invited to a co-workers party. When the hostess found out we were getting a male canary, she wanted to know what we were naming it. "Well", someone said, "you could name it Hop Sing".