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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Prior Lake, Minnesota, USA
    Posts
    27

    Default Need a good beekeeper joke

    I am the sole beekeeper working for a very large organization. Next week, I have will be going to the director's meeting and tradition has is that you have to tell a joke if you have never been to this meeting. Everyone knows I am the beekeeper so...

    Does anyone have a good clean bee / beekeeper joke to share with me? Any help is appreciated!!!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Cheyenne, Wyoming, USA
    Posts
    1,693

    Default Re: Need a good beekeeper joke

    What do honeybees do in the winter? They do what anyone smart would do; they snuggle with their honey!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Weeki Wachee, Florida,USA
    Posts
    2,002

    Default Re: Need a good beekeeper joke

    A beekeeper decided it was time to finish his schooling, so he signed up for classes at the community college.
    First day in math class. Professor says, "Some of you may be feeling a little dumb. Don't be intimidated. If anyone here feels especially dumb, please stand up."
    No one stood up. After a long pause, the beekeeper stood. Alone.
    "Fine," said the professor. "You're feeling a little overwhelmed, a little dumb?"
    "Not exactly," said the beekeeper, "But I hate to see you standing all alone."

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Weeki Wachee, Florida,USA
    Posts
    2,002

    Default Re: Need a good beekeeper joke

    One day a woman went for a walk in her neighborhood and came across a boy with some puppies. 'Would you like a puppy? They aren't ready for new homes quite yet, but they will be in a few weeks!'

    'Oh, they're adorable,' the lady said. 'What kind of dogs are they?'
    'I think these are bee inspectors.'
    'OK. I'll tell my husband.'

    So she went home and told her husband. About a week later he came across the lad and the puppies were very active.

    'Hey, Mister. Want a puppy?'
    'I think my wife spoke with you last week. What kind of dogs are these?'
    'Oh. These are beekeepers.'
    'I thought you said last week that they were bee inspectors.'
    'Yeah, but they've opened their eyes since then.'

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Athens, OH
    Posts
    2,698

    Default Re: Need a good beekeeper joke

    When I told that same joke about "Catholic kittens" I got scolded.
    Politics is the entertainment branch of industry. -Frank Zappa

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Weeki Wachee, Florida,USA
    Posts
    2,002

    Default Re: Need a good beekeeper joke

    I have I idea how that punch line went but I'm pleased you were scolded!!!!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Silverton, OR, USA
    Posts
    68

    Default Re: Need a good beekeeper joke

    Where do bees go to the bathroom? At a BP station!!!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Location
    Mojave Ca
    Posts
    17

    Big Grin Re: Need a good beekeeper joke

    They are oldies, but goodies

    Q: What rock singer do Bee's listen to?
    A: STING!!!

    Q: What do you call a bad movie?
    A: A bee movie.

    Q: What did the bee to the other bee in summer?
    A: Swarm here isn't it!

    Q: Where do bees go on holiday?
    A: Stingapore!

    Q: Can bees fly in the rain?
    A: Not without their little yellow jackets!

    Q: Why did the bee started talking poetry?
    A: He was waxing lyrical!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    Nehawka, Nebraska USA
    Posts
    46,212

    Default Re: Need a good beekeeper joke

    This might be more of a physicist joke... but, with apologies to "The Big Bang Theory":

    A beekeeper is losing all his bees so he goes to a friend who is a scientist. He explains the problem and his friend says he will look into it. A couple of weeks later the scientist comes back and says "I've solved your problem, but it only works with spherical bees in a vacuum."
    Michael Bush bushfarms.com/bees.htm "Everything works if you let it." ThePracticalBeekeeper.com 40y 200h 37yTF

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Lincolnton, NC
    Posts
    1,113

    Default Re: Need a good beekeeper joke

    Someone else posted this on here one time:

    2 professional beekeepers went to lunch at Mcdonald's. While they were in line they started talking about what they needed to do with their Russian nucs. Everyone else in line stopped talking and stared at them.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Salem, Oregon
    Posts
    953

    Default Re: Need a good beekeeper joke

    Commercial Beekeeper heading south on I-5 with a load of bees headed for almonds.
    All of a sudden he sees a cop car on his tail with the lights flashing.
    He pulls over and the cop approaches.
    "What seems to be the problem officer?" he asks.
    "Oh, it's no big deal", says the cop. "We are just doing random searches for illegal drugs".
    The beekeeper, who is already stressed for time becomes agitated.
    "Officer, I am a beekeeper. I have no time for drugs or any of that nonsense" he replies.
    "Settle down, settle down" says the cop. "We will will just do an inspection and then you can be on your way".
    Now the beekeeper is angry, "I have no time for this! Let me go so I can make it before daylight!!"
    The cop, trying to keep things under control says, "Look. All we want to do is a simple strip search. It only takes a couple of minutes".
    Now the beekeeper is in a rage.
    "You want a strip search? YOU WANT A STRIP SEARCH?"
    So the beekeeper quickly tears off all of his clothes and is bare naked alongside the freeway.
    "Are you happy now?" he yells at the cop.
    As the beekeeper stands there bare naked, the cop replies, "We were only searching for Apistan or Cumophos"!
    I have exactly ONE hive more than you.
    That makes my opinion beyond question.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Lutsk, Ukraine
    Posts
    10

    Default Re: Need a good beekeeper joke

    Quote Originally Posted by BeeNRA View Post
    They are oldies, but goodies

    Q: What rock singer do Bee's listen to?
    A: STING!!!

    Q: What do you call a bad movie?
    A: A bee movie.

    Q: What did the bee to the other bee in summer?
    A: Swarm here isn't it!

    Q: Where do bees go on holiday?
    A: Stingapore!

    Q: Can bees fly in the rain?
    A: Not without their little yellow jackets!

    Q: Why did the bee started talking poetry?
    A: He was waxing lyrical!


    1st Q/A just killed me

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