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Thread: capitalism

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
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    syracuse n.y.
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    Default capitalism

    AMERICAN CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.

    AUSTRALIAN CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

    FRENCH CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

    JAPANESE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them worldwide.

    GERMAN CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat only once a month, and milk themselves.

    BRITISH CAPITALISM: You have two cows. Both are mad.

    CANADIAN CAPITALISM: You have two cows. Come to think of it, they look more like a pair of moose - in fact, yes they are. One speaks French, one speaks English. One fights to create a new country, the other won't let it. They both play ice hockey rather well.

    ITALIAN CAPITALISM: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

    RUSSIAN CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

    SWISS CAPITALISM: You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge an outrageous fee to others for storing them.

    CHINESE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest and detain without trial the journalist who reported the number of cows.

    NEW ZEALAND CAPITALISM: You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute...

    GREEK CAPITALISM: You don't have any cows so you borrow one from your neighbor. You kill the cow and eat it. Your neighbor wants his cow back but you tell him you don't have it and you ask him if you can borrow another cow. He reluctantly loans you the second cow
    mike syracuse ny
    I went to bed mean, and woke up meaner. Marshal Dillon

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
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    Bakersfield, Cali
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    46

    Default Re: capitalism

    Omg that is the best thing I have read in ages,! Very clever and pretty much on the mark. My hat is off to you...

  3. #3
    Join Date
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    syracuse n.y.
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    Default Re: capitalism

    Quote Originally Posted by Cherrysbees View Post
    Omg that is the best thing I have read in ages,! Very clever and pretty much on the mark. My hat is off to you...
    not me i'm not that creative, copied it from a comment on the asian contagion.
    mike syracuse ny
    I went to bed mean, and woke up meaner. Marshal Dillon

  4. #4
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    Aug 2015
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    Spanish Fork, Utah
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    Default Re: capitalism

    that's really funny.

  5. #5
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    Cumberland Va.
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    Default Re: capitalism

    Thats good Mike. Thanks. G
    The Bees are the Beekeepers

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    malaysia
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    Default Re: capitalism

    haha dont really get some of them mind to explain?

    AUSTRALIAN CAPITALISM: (Don't get it)

    FRENCH CAPITALISM: (Don't get it)

    JAPANESE CAPITALISM: indicate japanese anime?

    GERMAN CAPITALISM: mean good in engineer industry?

    BRITISH CAPITALISM: (Don't get it)

    CANADIAN CAPITALISM: (Don't get it)

    ITALIAN CAPITALISM: Italian are lazy? lolx

    RUSSIAN CAPITALISM: Mean they always drunk?cause by vodka?

    SWISS CAPITALISM: (Don't get it)

    CHINESE CAPITALISM: no freedom?

    NEW ZEALAND CAPITALISM: they love cow?lolx

    GREEK CAPITALISM: You don't have any cows so you borrow one from your neighbor. You kill the cow and eat it. Your neighbor wants his cow back but you tell him you don't have it and you ask him if you can borrow another cow. He reluctantly loans you the second cow

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Location
    Lamar Co. Alabama, USA
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    3,197

    Default Re: capitalism

    I almost fell out of my chair laughing!
    "Sometimes the best action is no action at all."
    Started 2011, 3-10 frame hives; 2016, 52-8 frame hives, 2 nucs.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    Central Alabama, Shelby County
    Posts
    202

    Default Re: capitalism

    And the biggest joke of all:
    Crony Capitalism, what both parties are giving us today. <GG>

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