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Frustrated Beekeeping Mentor

18K views 60 replies 40 participants last post by  David LaFerney 
#1 ·
I'm feeling like the worst mentor in history. But I don't know what I could have done differently!

I was asked by my bee club to mentor an 11 year old boy and his family in beekeeping. I was thrilled to do it.

My husband and I have helped them through every stage, from assembling the hive in December, to helping them install the bees, showing them how to do inspections, and helping them to harvest some honey.

However, one thing I noticed - this is a very busy family, And somewhat disorganized. Every time we went up there, it seemed like they had misplaced equipment, etc., so we couldn't always do things the way I thought they should be done. They lost the hive tool, a queen excluder, a smoker, etc.

And, the boy has just lost interest. The only time they go in the hive is when my husband and I contact them, and say, hey, would you like us to inspect the hive with you? They never go in it themselves, and never call us with any questions, etc.

We went up there about a month ago, and suggested they put on the entrance reducer (which they lost, so that didn't happen), and to put out some wasp traps, because there were several around the hive. Then, we had them over to do some extracting, which was a really nice time.

We went up there today, and the hive is a disaster. It probably won't survive the winter. It is under terrible attack by wasps, and has been robbed out, with many dead bees.

They hadn't even looked at the hive in a MONTH. I'm going to help them try to save it, but all I could think was "why didn't you at least look at it and call me????".

My husband says not to feel bad - that a mentor is there to answer questions and help, not to do the work for them. But I still feel like I failed somehow.

Has anyone else mentored someone like this? Was I unrealistic? Not do enough?

Thanks!!
 
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#2 ·
my opinion is that you have already gone above and beyond the call of duty.

if the family hasn't got to the point of being able to care of the hive by now, i don't think they ever will.

i would offer to buy it from them for a very reasonable price, (maybe less the time you have spent on it), or see if they want to donate to a more deserving home.

i would not spend any more time of my own on it for them.

just my 2 cents.

and i'm not that bad of a person, really.
 
#3 ·
yeah, I'd offer them 25-50 cents on the dollar on it, just for the equipment, as the bees like you said may not make it thru the winter. They obviously no longer care. "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink."
Regards,
Steven
 
#7 ·
You are a mentor to assist them with their beehives. Stay home and wait for them to call you, instead of you calling them all the time. These are not your bees to be worrying about.
I agree. The failing is not with your mentorship. Wait until it occurs to THEM that this hive is no longer of any interest. Then, do as you will.
 
#5 ·
One of the neat things about doing classes is that at the end of the season there’ll be several folks who are serious……and they far overshadow the majority who don’t get bitten by‘the bug’. And really, most do lose interest. So, if you do it one on one you can expect more failures than successes….but those successes will feed your spirit.
 
#8 ·
These people will never successfully keep bees.

Looks like they will lose the hive to wasps because they failed to take your advice to put on an entrance guard. They lost it? If they were interested in the bees they could have made another. But they are not interested, unless you do everything for them.

Personally I wouldn't offer to buy the hive. They'll get to thinking they did you a favor.

Tell them that because they did not take your advise the hive is now in danger of being wiped out. Emphasise it is THEIR fault, you DID tell them what to do. Advise them what they now need to do, and walk away.

No doubt they won't do it and the hive will die. If they ever come back to you offer advice by phone but don't go there unless asked. If you go there don't do any work for them make them do it and stand there telling them how. Then say what they have to do next but only go back if invited, and maybe mention there are other things you could be doing with your time.
 
#12 ·
Personally I wouldn't offer to buy the hive. They'll get to thinking they did you a favor.
I think you are right here.
If the eleven year old boy lost interest, wellllllll, he lost interest. I am thankful it wasn't a puppy. Let nature take over and I wouldn't make an offer on the equipment. They might think that was your original intention.
A good mentor is a teacher not a doer.
 
#9 ·
I do not want to add more sour to your story, but it seems to me, you just did too much for them - THEY should call you and ask for help. If people are so irresponsible, why you should worry more than they are? Another thing - sometime we have a tendency to "overmentor" - it may be overwhelming especially for the boy. I personally would talk to them and explain to them your frustration. Tell them, how you feel - reasonable people could change the course, unreasonable - they just do not deserve your time. I would not buy anything from them, but I would offer to try to find the new home for their bees (kind of late)... Good luck!
 
#10 ·
Actuslly, IHO, The clue is in the 1st sentence "an 11 year old boy". No eleven year old boy I know should be the starting stimulus for beekeeping unless another family member is ready to take responsibility for it when (not if) he looses interest. As A Cub scout camp counselor for 6 years and the director for 4 years, and Mother of 3, I have known A LO of boys! this was a loss just waiting to happen. With luck, the family learned an expensive lesson.
Meridith
 
#11 ·
My theory on mentoring is that I am here to guide not to do.

I never call my clients. I let them go and they can contact me at anytime and I will gladly be there to "guide" them

I dont take mentoring personally either. So many new beeks have it all figured out anyways (sarcasm). Just yesterday I had a client call looking for a mated queen. I replied "its October" Queen rearing season is long since past. He told me differently. I asked "why do you have a failing queen or queenless situation?" He said no I wanted to try wintering nucs. "Seriously?.....you are going to split a hive now?

What ever.

But then there are sweet people who just love to talk about thier bees and jump at the chance to visit one of my out yards to shadow.
 
#13 ·
"...I dont take mentoring personally either. So many new beeks have it all figured out anyways (sarcasm). Just yesterday I had a client call looking for a mated queen. I replied "its October" Queen rearing season is long since past. He told me differently. I asked "why do you have a failing queen or queenless situation?" He said no I wanted to try wintering nucs. "Seriously?.....you are going to split a hive now? ..."

I get that a lot . The last few it seems just KEPT saying "yeah,I know"
 
#15 ·
Ignoring the fact that the mentee was an 11 year boy, and since there were parents involved as well, well, my 5 cents would be - where is a will there is a way. I had a great help from my mentor, but I think I also showed great interest myself, if I couldn't do few things myself, well then I asked for help. I was later involved in mentoring somebody and realized that I am expected to visit mentee's hives but they won't visit it without me, nor they would attend available classes. Should I feel bad for not being able to go to them when they decide they need to check their hives ? Once again, first do it yourself, it is your responsibility in the first place, not your mentor's !
Don't feel bad, if these people are not comfortable or organized enough to work with the hives there is nothing you can do.
 
#17 ·
Its not your fault, at all. You did what you could under your power. People sometimes take on something to be cool or just to have it, then soon lose interest when the newness wears off. Not everyone is cut out to be a beekeeper, its not something you can take all your friends and family down to see, like a horse for example. Not a lot of people like bees, just like I hate snakes! If you want to show me your pet python, thats nice, just keep it in the cage!!

As for offering to take the hive...............its a catch 22. Sure it would be nice to have the extra equipment, but when the hive is back to normal are they suddenly going to want it back for another try?
 
#18 ·
from steveng:

>"You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink."

to that i would add:

"if you give a man a fish, you feed him for the day, if you teach a man to fish, you enable to feed himself and others".
 
#19 ·
This current fad for keeping bees for pets will slowly wane away and there will be millions of dead hives available for pennies on the dollar or rotting away in back yards.
 
#22 ·
Mentoring is overrated. When involved with someone at a bee meeting and they want me to come by to show them I will, a few times. At the next meeting I’ll ask them how the bees are. If they say they haven’t checked since the last time I was there I ask them if they read any books if they say no and they want some more help sorry I’m very busy and don’t have time. It’s not too hard to tell who is serious or not.
 
#23 ·
I knew what the end of the story was as soon as you started it -- you did fine, probably did more than you really should have, but an 11 year old boy typically has the attention span of a gnat on a hot plate. Don't despair -- it's sad to see a hive die out when you know what would have taken care of it, but it's not yours and you will teach a better lesson by just waiting for them to call.

If they don't, well, you needn't worry about it. Who knows, in a few more years the boy might decide he wants to keep bees again, and this time don't do any of the work, let him do it all and ask you what to do when he can't figure it out.

You will, I think, find other people to mentor who will really be interested, and that will be very rewarding. You do have to tolerate millions of repetitious questions though. All new beeks, even those with lots of "book learning" are going to have no hands on knowledge and endless questions that have fairly obvious answers. I certainly did, but I should have had someone look at the hive more, I'd have saved that first one from starvation.

Good luck -- some lucky new beek is going to get a real jumpstart on beekeeping from you someday!

Peter
 
#28 ·
So many excellent points made above.

BTW, I want someone to design a beesuit that lets me work the hives AND drink beer at the same time. It will require a specially-designed veil.

I'm a writer, and almost everyone who finds out says they want to write a book. I used to always offer my help, until I realized that 99% of the people were unwilling to even sit down and type. Same with your mentorship and bees. Sounds like they wanted you to do all the work so they could just sit back and enjoy the bees. I agree that you should try to get the bees/hive/equipment for your own. Do it for the beezers, and let these people find another "hobby."
 
#30 ·
BTW, I want someone to design a beesuit that lets me work the hives AND drink beer at the same time. It will require a specially-designed veil.
Hey, no need for any specially designed veil, use the one you already have. Just put on one of these "hydration backpacks" before you suit up. Note the tube that goes directly to your mouth, so no holes in the veil are needed.


the removable 2-liter Cyclone bladder provides easy access to hydrating liquids with a patented no-leak, high-flow bite valve.
Only $30 from Target: http://www.target.com/p/h2o-ripcord...4#prodSlot=dlp_medium_1_6&term=water backpack

The "bite valve" means you control the flow "hands free"! And since it holds 2 liters of beer you can have a real buzz while inspecting your hives. :lpf:
 
#33 ·
People like to try new things, and some things work out. Some things don't! It is quite possible that the 11 year old expressed an interest in bees that, upon his actually experiencing bees and beekeeping, did not blossom into a passion. It is also very possible that his parents killed the interest through something I see a lot, which is a parent who both lacks the understanding of when to step in and support the kid in a new learning curve, and pressures the child to excel. The subtext ends up reading something like "get this right and do me proud, or I will be upset...oh, and this cost a bundle of money, so don't screw up". Or to put that another way, things are all about them, not the child.

Finally, and I am just putting this out there...the chronic disorganization and foggy communications are typical of families in which alcohol or some other large issue is a problem. Sounds like the family system is stressed out for some reason and just could not take on that one more thing, including a stranger in the house seeing how they roll.
 
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