Talking Dog - Free to any home
I noticed a post on Craigslist the other day... It was titled "Talking Dog - Free" and there an address listed along with a picture of a giant German Shepherd. Seeing as I had just put my old Shep down, I was "in the market" for a dog and hopped in the truck for a drive.
Well, the GPS took me into a rather run-down trailer park, but out in the country up here in backwoods PA, that didn't phase me much.
I walked up to the screen door and knocked, and heard a voice say "C'mon in"
Entering, I saw what could only at best be called a drunken slob permanently molded into a sorry excuse for a couch.
I said, "I'm here about the dog on Craigslist, you said he was a..."
Before I could finish, he busted in with a gruff "He's in the back room." He then took a swig of beer and went back to staring at the tv.
I went in the back and saw the Shepherd laying on a bed. He looked a bit old, but good and I casually stated "So, you're the talking dog 'eh?" I figured he was one of those types that could whine out some resemblance of "I love you." Oh how wrong I was!
He replied with a clear "Yes I am."
I was floored!! He really could talk! I could only ask, "So, what's your story buddy?"
He relayed this story to me:
"Well, my mother and father met while working as rescue dogs during the 9/11 attacks, they fell in love and had me. I spent my puppy days happily playing in the swamps of my New Orleans home, that's where my Mom is from, until Hurricane Katrina hit us. I lost my whole family in that storm, but I was able to help 6 other families survive by fetching fresh water for them and directing rescuers to them. Maybe you saw me on the news? Anyway, after losing my family, I felt as if I had no place to go, so I joined the Navy and became a SEAL. I know, right, a DOG SEAL!??! Anyway, I was instrumental in designing the plans to eliminate Osama Bin Laden, and was the lead canine on the mission. After that, I retired from the Navy and have just decided to relax during my retirement."
I stumbled out of the bedroom and went straight to the living room. I had but one question to ask the resident human.
"WHY ON EARTH are you giving that dog away for free??!"
He leaned back and spoke loud enough for the dog to hear:
"Because he's nothin' but a DARNED LIAR!"