A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, “Perfect timing. You're just like Frank.”
Cabbie: “Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time.”
Passenger: “There are always a few clouds over everybody.”
Cabbie: “Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could
have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros.
He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy.”
Passenger: “Sounds like he was something really special.”
Cabbie: “There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He
remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which
foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse and the whole street blacks out.But Frank Feldman could do everything right.”
Passenger: “Wow, some guy then.”
Cabbie: “He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and
avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in
them. But Frank, he never made a mistake and he really knew how to treat a
woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was
in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished
too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure
up to Frank Feldman.”
Passenger: “An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?”
Cabbie: “Well, I never actually met Frank. He died and I married his wife.
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afraid to move.