Inter-Beekeeper drama!! Advice sought.

[bigevilgrape]

Try and remember that most brain injuries result in memory problems along with a host of other things. I would try and talk to the brother and work something out. Personally I would talk to the brother and explain that some of the equipment had been given away, but he could have whatever was left.

[Omie]

I wouldn't say anything in my reply except that I'd like to discuss the feasibility and details of this request with his brother and give the phone number.

[fish_stix]

I'd load that hive up and take it back to the old guy, no questions asked. You can only reap a harvest of ill will by doing otherwise.

[kennedy]

Life is full of hassle its also full of loss its also full of hard hearted people.help all you can as long as it does'nt cost to much no one really knows what the future will bring regards kennedy

[WI-beek]

Im sorry but all this chalks up to is you cant give something away to anyone and then later assume ownership of it when you decide you still want it.

If you want something you gave away back you need to ask if you can have it given back. People who play this game only play it because other people give in to it becasue the dont want to deal with a conflict. Give into this guys bull crap and it just makes it easier for him to lay down another line of crap to the next victim who recives something from him or sell him something or whatever the situation may be when the guy plays this game.

Be polite, honest, and upfront and if the guy ends up being unreasonable and rude, you wont fell any guilt when you tell him where to go and a short cut oh how to get there. If you dont, you may lose sleep over how this ends, and you may end up in another situation with this group that leads to more frustration.

[devdog108]

HAving had my mother go through a brain anurism and living and then turning around and having another 5 in square removed from her skull so they could take out an AVM....i remember dealing with everything and feeling helpless all at the same time. I understand your frustration in him wanting the bees back, but IMHO, i would deliver them without fail. My mom didnt have anything to hold on to except her kids and made it through for that reason. Strangley enough, we as fellow beeks sometimes need to do the hardest thing of all, and thats take care of eachother. One day that may come back around. I have taken a new outlook on my life recently and am giving all I can to whomever can and will accept it. Its always been in my nature, but never to the degree that a 35 yr old normally would be like. There is a reason he is asking for them back, and when i get to go out and enjoy one of the most complicated things in nature, yet so simple, i wonder why it took me so long to get started. This may be his reason, good or bad, and you did one heck of a thing. I guess I'd deliver them with a smile.

[afss]

personally, i would talk to the brother, if he is ok with it i would set the guy up with a nuc in the spring along with a few old hive boddies and frames. You are likely to get this back in a few years anyway and its a good gesture of good will. I understand where you are coming from but put your self in the other fellas shoes. If the money involved is really an issue then possibly you could make a deal with the brother that you get half of the honey the first year.

Karma, it sucks to put yourself out sometimes but its almost always worth it in the end.

[bigeddie]

Load them up, haul them over to him, set them up,shake his hand, give him a hug,wish him well then thank God you were able to do this for him.

[mac]

Don’t send the E-mail.Lot of time between now and spring. This gentleman with the brain injury may not have all his faculties about him. Because he says he wants them back he might not grasp what he’s talking about he might not be all there. Wait till spring if the bees make it give them back. If he’s healthy in the spring let he and his brother pick them up. Ya can help or not. No big whoop. Give him a jar of honey and tell him you’re glad he’s feeling better. Life is short.” Except for the grace of god there go I.” Ya reap what ya sow. What goes around comes around. Karma.

[johng]

Why not keep the hive through the winter like he wants. But, as early as you can in the spring take a split from the hive and give him the parent hive back. Then you get something for your work and he will have his bees back. Then just move on and put it behind you.

[BeeCurious]

Load them up, haul them over to him, set them up,shake his hand, give him a hug,wish him well then thank God you were able to do this for him.

Yes!


and mrspock,

Perhaps when you are "fried", as you so compassionately put it, someone will treat you kindly as well.

For those who view this as a contract/legal issue, I hope, in your futures, you get all the help and compassion that you are legally entitled to.

And for those who advise lying to a brain injured (fellow) beekeeper...
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[Beekeeper's hubby]

I have to wonder,

If the gentleman has had 2 brain issues this year what are the chances that he may have another before Spring?

The way I see it, Respond with an OK.

If he really does make it until next spring and is well enough to keep bees, I would give him one of my own even if I lost his in the winter.
Anybody that can come back from those type of things is blessed to be here. If he is that blessed and you throw some love his way, then maybe you will be blessed as well.
IMHO

[Beekeeper's hubby]

Oh, I forgot to add,

If he does not make it through the winter without more issues, then the point would be moot by Spring.

[wolfpenfarm]

You know what, I have to say that yeah he probably gave them up to you, and yeah you are in the right to tell him tough luck. But......
Honestly is it going to break you? Do you really have that much in them and is it going to cost you that much to help the guy out?

I seem to remember that God rewards those of us who do things for others with a cheerful heart. Why not just keep them til spring, split the hive, and send one back to him. Yu know I suspect when you do, that the split will be your best producing hive.

Seriously, it isn't a every day occurance. Think about it, what IF you God forbid were in his shoes?

Not trying to guilt you my friend, just get you to see another way. We sometimes get caught up in the work we do and how much effort is put into something we do.

[Bee Bliss]

Really glad to hear the positive responses of having compassion to another who is down on his luck. Look at this as an opportunity to make a big difference in someone's life as it would mean the world to him. That, my friend, is priceless! The bees obviously mean a great deal to him or he wouldn't be asking for them.

Some things in our lives can be very healing................be it friends and family, and yes, those things that we love to do.......that stir our hearts! Our passions! Make an old guy happy in his later times. Give him a hive with bees in it (his or yours). Tell him they were the best bees you ever had the pleasure to work with. Give him a reason to smile and more will to live and heal. I guarantee you will be touched knowing the kindness and compassion you extended to him. You can tell him now and give him that excitement and joy right now knowing that his bees are coming home in Spring. This will give him something to look forward to. If he makes it, he will then have the bees but that happiness will have started now already. Of course, it is not known yet if he will even be able to take care of them. But for now the man needs to have hope and you can give that to him. If it turns out he can't keep the bees come Spring, you can help him or visit him and talk bees. That would be the next best thing for him. If you were in his shoes, wouldn't you appreciate someone else being kind and compassionate towards you?

My dad learned and bought his bees and equipment from an old timer who was retiring from it. "Jake" got a lot of pleasure from his bees and was happy knowing they went to a good man. I would also bet that he never forgot about them or my dad. They were a big part of his life.

[StevenG]

If we take the brain injury out of the equation, it seems presumptuous to give something to someone, and then want it back next spring. Especially since the beek making the gift knows what getting a hive through fall and winter entails. I'm not saying this is the case, but sometimes people can use an injury to lay on the guilt.

Whatever, this is a lose-lose situation it seems to me. So I'd go with the advice given to try to make this a win-win, and simply return all the equipment and bees to him now, wish him well and good health, and be done with the situation.

And regards your neighbor to whom you gave the bees, explain the situation, and work out something for him to be a beekeeper next spring/year.
Regards,
Steven

[The Honey Householder]

WOW! give the guy his stuff back.

[NorthernIllinoisPlumber]

Load them up, haul them over to him, set them up,shake his hand, give him a hug,wish him well then thank God you were able to do this for him.

Exactly...why make a big deal out of it. When you do that, give thanks for your good health...(which I hope it is).

[bhfury]

Load them up, haul them over to him, set them up,shake his hand, give him a hug,wish him well then thank God you were able to do this for him.

Excellent

[power napper]

I feel you will do the "right thing" after communicating with the brother, until you get the facts from a different prospective it is difficult to make a decision.

Calling the gentleman to offer some honey shows compassion and understanding in my eyes.

Some decisions are easy, some are not.