Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast
Results 21 to 40 of 50

Thread: Neighbor Issues

  1. #21
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Western Illinois
    Posts
    111

    Default Re: Neighbor Issues

    I think I need to be clear about something. These are good neighbors. We have shared many things over the years. In fact this year when my tractor broke right before tilling time, he lent me his Kabota. Now that's down right neighborly. I would like this (bee fear) to simply blow over... maybe it will. Perhaps I live in wishful-thinking-land.

    Do you think I should talk to her husband? Or would that escalate things?

    ~Chris

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Turnbow Hollow, Tennessee
    Posts
    169

    Default Re: Neighbor Issues

    No, I think sincerely approaching them to express your concern for her fears and sense of well being and talking to them about what you could do to put theirs fears at ease would be a great first step.

    It would also give them a good opportunity to express their concerns and help lower the potential for hostile rhetoric.

    Why not do your best to be a great neighbor? Communicating is a very important part of being good neighbors. I also think that the act of approaching them in a sincere and concerned manner sends them a positive message that you are concerned about their point of view.

    You might be surprised by their response as well as them being very receptive to your efforts to extend an olive branch and find a solution.

    Please don't take my previous replies as a shoot first and ask questions later approach. I think it ALWAYS best to do you utmost to resolve matters with your neighbors in a positive and friendly fashion. Should it come to it, let them burn the bridge if they choose. Hopefully they won't.
    Last edited by Bizzybee; 07-08-2009 at 03:48 PM. Reason: Unnecessary quoting

  3. #23
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    knoxville, tn
    Posts
    562

    Default Re: Neighbor Issues

    Ask her when was the last time she was stung, and then by what kind of bee, and then what provoked the stinging. You might find she hasn't been stung in a llong time. Ask what happened to her the last time she was stung, what kind of allergic trama was she having, maybe only local swelling, heck I get that every now and then. Maybe this allergy doctor is putting all of this in her head so he can line his pockets with insurance money. Kind of see where I am going with this.

    Contact the previous land owner and see what he has to say and how he handled the good neighbor.

    Best of luck with it.

    G3
    Last edited by G3farms; 07-08-2009 at 04:18 PM. Reason: spelling

  4. #24
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Location
    Greenville, TX, USA
    Posts
    4,207

    Default Re: Neighbor Issues

    With 36 acres it is entirely unreasonable for anyone to expect you to get rid of bees, no matter what the fears. That said, an attempt to educate her would be in order. Suit her up in a full bee suite, you in a tee shirt and shorts, and go to where some bees are foraging. Stand over them, get real close, demonstrate that the foragers have no interest in humans or other animals.

  5. #25
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    knoxville, tn
    Posts
    562

    Default Re: Neighbor Issues

    that sounds like a good idea to you and me but this woman would freak out, put her in the truck with the windows rolled up and let her watch you work bees in only your shorts and tee shirt.

    G3

  6. #26
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Lewiston, MI, USA
    Posts
    212

    Default Re: Neighbor Issues

    Chris, my heart goes out to you. Have you told this neighbor how you truly feel about everything that's going on? Does she know how much you love your bees? It makes me really sad to hear what you're going through. It's a daily worry for me, too, because I have neighbors who are "allergic" to bees. I think it's REALLY important to communicate...you can never go wrong in doing so, you know? If I were in your shoes, I would have a long and serious talk with this person about reality/fantasy. As you know, honeybees aren't out to hurt anyone. Does she have any idea how much honeybees do for us? Perhaps if she did, she would start seeing them in a new light. Good luck and do keep us posted. --Sal

  7. #27
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Knox County, Ohio
    Posts
    2,709

    Default Re: Neighbor Issues

    I would ask the woman what she expects you to do. Give her the opportunity to offer a solution. If she comes up with the solution, she will be less likely to find fault in it.

    If you ask her what she expects as a solution, my guess is she will say she never thought about that. All she could see was a problem, and she never bothered to think about a solution both of you could live with.

    Women are finicky creatures. When a guy hears a complaint, he feels he is expected to try to figure out what he can do to solve the problem. Women often complain for the sake of complaining - and they don't realize the guy is trying to find a solution. (Which often leads to arguments of the guy fuming mad because the lady is complaining about problems he has no control over, and can't fix - and she won't quit b-ing at him about it.)

    Maybe the woman is just venting, and not expecting you to do anything. She may be very appreciative that you asked her what she expects of you.

    Please note that I did not say you have to do whatever she expects - if it's unrealistic, don't do it. But it will be a first step in finding a common ground both of you can live with.

  8. #28
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Sauk, WI, USA
    Posts
    144

    Default Re: Neighbor Issues

    Geez, countryboy--I'm still trying to get over your third paragraph! Your first one, however, is an excellent idea! It's what I tell my husband all the time when he gets to griping about politics.

    I'm trying to see this from both points of view. You seem to be doing your best in that, too. You have a valid right to own and enjoy your bees. She has a very rational reason to be afraid of them (if she is deathly allergic to stings). Now, she needs to understand how very unlikely she is to be stung by them, and that many other types of bees could sting her, and that your bees are doing the whole neighborhood a great service.

    It actually sounds to me like you need to talk to her doctor! Do you happen to know this person? Doctors carry a lot of weight when they speak, and this doctor seems woefully misinformed...

    But, I'm just a finicky woman yacking for the sake of yacking...

  9. #29
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Downers Grove, Il
    Posts
    1

    Default Re: Neighbor Issues

    Why don't you post a link to this thread in your blog and let her see the discussion?:

  10. #30
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Portland, OR, USA
    Posts
    635

    Default Re: Neighbor Issues

    Quote Originally Posted by Countryboy View Post
    Women are finicky creatures. When a guy hears a complaint, he feels he is expected to try to figure out what he can do to solve the problem. Women often complain for the sake of complaining - and they don't realize the guy is trying to find a solution. (Which often leads to arguments of the guy fuming mad because the lady is complaining about problems he has no control over, and can't fix - and she won't quit b-ing at him about it.)

  11. #31
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Knox County, Ohio
    Posts
    2,709

    Default Re: Neighbor Issues

    Geez, countryboy--I'm still trying to get over your third paragraph!



    Masculine guys are problem solvers. If a feminine lady (who needs our masculine problem solving ability, and masculine men like to be needed) tells us a problem, we think it is our manly duty to solve the problem. (That little lady wouldn't tell us a problem unless she expected us to solve it for her.)

    Both romantic and interpersonal relationships often improve greatly once folks realize the difference in how masculine men and feminine women look at problems. (And things get even worse when you have girly men and manly women.)

  12. #32
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Tip of the Thumb, Michigan
    Posts
    678

    Default Re: Neighbor Issues

    I WOULDN'T post a link in your blog to this thread! Why give her more ammunition, especially since there are postings on here essentially saying, "How about you keep up with your desensitization shots, and get rid of your horses? Cuz it's ON NOW! The bees are staying!"

    I think it's reasonable to ask what she and her husband think a solution would be. Getting rid of the bees is unreasonable. You've got a right to farm, afterall, and it sounds like you have reasonable management practices in place. This route is being a good neighbor.

    But, I personally like the "smoke and mirrors" campaign idea. Blog about how you're disappointed about having to get rid of your bees, but I'd stop short of saying how you might think they're a danger to her, etc. That sort of stuff, worst case scenario now, is the sort of junk that gets brought up in court. ("See here in her blog, your Honor? She KNEW they were a danger to me!")

    Your blogging got you into trouble with her. Let it get you out. But, be careful it doesn't get you deeper.

    -----

    As an aside, someone made the comment that communication makes for good neighbors... I disagree. I don't want my neighbors talking to me, coming over, or borrowing anything. I wave. They wave. We watch each other's houses for burglary and fire. That's it. THAT'S a good neighbor in my opinion!

  13. #33
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Turnbow Hollow, Tennessee
    Posts
    169

    Default Re: Neighbor Issues

    Quote Originally Posted by Ross View Post
    With 36 acres it is entirely unreasonable for anyone to expect you to get rid of bees, no matter what the fears. That said, an attempt to educate her would be in order. Suit her up in a full bee suite, you in a tee shirt and shorts, and go to where some bees are foraging. Stand over them, get real close, demonstrate that the foragers have no interest in humans or other animals.
    Depending upon the bee suit, the bees can still sting you through the netting. Maybe not a good idea. I have been stung this way.

  14. #34
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Loganville, GA
    Posts
    2,174

    Default Re: Neighbor Issues

    I believe Ross' point is that foraging workers aren't going to sting. The suit only provides an air of confidence. I don't see the danger in the exercise.
    "Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts." Winston Churchill

  15. #35
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Belfield, North Dakota, USA
    Posts
    621

    Default Re: Neighbor Issues

    BigDaddy - I'm with you!

    FENCES make good neighbors!
    Last edited by NDnewbeek; 07-09-2009 at 07:06 AM.

  16. #36
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Belfield, North Dakota, USA
    Posts
    621

    Default Re: Neighbor Issues


  17. #37
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    nelsonville, ohio
    Posts
    403

    Default Re: Neighbor Issues

    you could simply explain you dont own the bees you just own the boxes thay live in. if you get rid of the boxes then thay might find a home on her place. and neither of you want that now do you. maby not exatly that but people tend not to see that things could be worse than thay are now. maby find a way to show her that maby she is not as bad off as she thinks. for all legal intents and purposes you could have them real close and she couldent do any thing about it.

  18. #38
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Fresno California USA
    Posts
    2,496

    Default Mark Twain:

    Tall fences make good neighbors.

  19. #39
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Bristol,MA,USA
    Posts
    689

    Default Re: Neighbor Issues

    Beyondthesidewalks commented: "Tell her you don't want her to harrass you anymore and any further calls about bees will be referred to your legal counsel. You've just got to defend yourself." Terrific! It should make her think twice at least esp. since you've gone out of your way to mollify her. No more freebies as well. OMTCW

  20. #40
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Jenison, MI
    Posts
    1,514

    Default Re: Neighbor Issues

    Does she know that there were 2x as many hives living just as close for many years, just across the street?

    Does she know that swarms can fly for more than a few hundred feet, so for years she was exposed to potential swarms, more than what you expose her to?

    Is she aware that bees CAN cross roads? (my bees even look both ways first, which I think is absolutely ridiculous considering they are 40 feet in the air )

    This poor lady is missing so much information.

Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Ads