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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    VENTURA, California, USA
    Posts
    3,637

    Default The Redneck Dogs, Hunting and Road Kill Test

    Enjoy,
    The Redneck Dogs, Hunting and Road Kill Test
    2 Points: You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree. (Double points: Dog & Hygiene = 4 total)
    2 Points: Your grandmother has "Ammo" on her Christmas list. (Double points: Hunting & Family = 4 total)
    5 Points: You have forgotten which coat is sprayed in deer-pee, and worn it to church.
    5 Points: You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog. (Double points: Hunting & Family = 10 total)
    5 Points: Your `huntin dawg' cost more than the truck you drive him around in. (Double points: Hunting & Truck = 10 total)
    5 Points: You and your friends sit on your roof at Christmas time hoping to fill your deer quota. (Triple points: Hunting, Entertainment & Friends = 5 points per person)
    5 Points: You've ever tried to hit a deer with your vehicle ... on purpose! (Double points: Hunting & Truck = 10 total) 10 Points: If you succeeded in hitting a deer with your vehicle � again on purpose. (Double points: Hunting & Truck = 20 total) 20 Points: You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
    Bubba McCow is top gun in this category with 102 points. Bubba�s Christmas rituals are legendary. Every year (after he gives both his Grandma�s ammo), Bubba and his 3 buddies climb up on the roof with their shotguns and a case of PBR beer in hopes of bagging Rudolf. This eventually led to his wife, Maycee, to ask for a divorce. She sued for custody of their 2 prize hunting dogs. Now he hunts with his 1976 Chevy Bonanza truck � no gun � no dogs � just the truck. Maycee says, �Christmas was a annual nightmare. Those idiots shot out every light in the trailer park. But those 3 stuffed skunks in the bedroom � I couldn�t sleep � Their presence permeated the house all year long.�
    Ernie
    Ernie
    My websitehttp://bees4u.com/

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Ennis, TX USA
    Posts
    5,053

    Big Grin

    I like those Ernie. Sad thing is. I think I have done all of them, but drank PBR beer and been divorced. There is always tomorrow though.


    Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked Hulk in the face. Now he hides in the forest and changed his name to Shrek

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    VENTURA, California, USA
    Posts
    3,637

    Default The Redneck Plot.

    here is one with a twist at the end--
    The Redneck Pilot
    The chief of staff of the US Air Force decided that he would personally intervene in the recuiting crisis affecting all of our armed services.


    So, he directed that a nearby Air Force base be opened and that all eligible young men and women be invited.


    As he and his staff were standing near a brand new F-15 Fighter, a pair of twin brothers who looked like they had just stepped off a Marine Corps recruiting poster walked up to them.


    The chief of staff walked up to them, stuck out his hand and introduced himself.


    He looked at the first young man and asked, Son, what skills can you bring to the Air Force?


    The young man looks at him and says, Im a pilot!


    The general gets all excited, turns to his aide and says, Get him in today, all the paper work done, everything, do it! The aide hustles the young man off.


    The general looks at the second young man and asked, What skills to you bring to the Air Force?


    The young man says, I chop wood!


    Son, the general replies, We dont need wood choppers in the Air Force, what do you know how to do?


    I chop wood!


    Young man, huffs the general, You are not listening to me, we dont need wood choppers, this is the 21st century!


    Well, the young man says, You hired my brother!


    Of course we did, says the general, hes a pilot!


    The young man rolls his eyes and says, Dang it, I have to chop it before he can pile it!
    Ernie
    Ernie
    My websitehttp://bees4u.com/

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Ennis, TX USA
    Posts
    5,053

    Default

    Dang it, I have to chop it before he can pile it!


    Thats great!
    Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked Hulk in the face. Now he hides in the forest and changed his name to Shrek

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    VENTURA, California, USA
    Posts
    3,637

    Default Rednecks like to get a little mud on their tires.

    Here is your video for the day

    http://www.metacafe.com/watch/228247...n_their_tires/
    I liked the cat fish photo
    Ernie
    Ernie
    My websitehttp://bees4u.com/

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Ennis, TX USA
    Posts
    5,053

    Default

    That catfish is huge. Looks like they caught it by noodling too. That's real redneck fishin there.
    Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked Hulk in the face. Now he hides in the forest and changed his name to Shrek

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