Results 1 to 13 of 13
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Ennis, TX USA
    Posts
    5,051

    Default Red Neck Love Poem

    Collards is green, my dog's name is Blue
    And I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you.
    Yore hair is like corn silk a-flapping in the breeze.
    Softer than Blue's and without all them fleas.

    You move like the bass, which excite me in May.
    You ain't got no scales but I luv you anyway.
    Yo're as satisfy'n as okry jist a-fry'n in the pan.
    Yo're as fragrant as "snuff" right out of the can.

    You have some'a yore teeth, for which I am proud;
    I hold my head high when we're in a crowd.
    On special occasions, when you shave under yore arms,
    Well, I'm in hawg heaven, and awed by yore charms.

    Still them fellers at work, they all want to know,
    What I did to deserve such a purdy, young doe.
    Like a good roll of duct tape, yo're there fer yore man,
    To patch up life's troubles and fix what you can.

    Yo're as cute as a junebug a-buzzin' overhead.
    You ain't mean like those far ants I found in my bed.
    Cut from the best cloth like a plaid flannel shirt,
    You spark up my life more than a fresh load of dirt.

    When you hold me real tight like a padded gunrack,
    My life is complete; Ain't nuttin' I lack.
    Yore complexion, it's perfection, like the best vinyl sidin'.
    Despite all the years, yore age, it keeps hidin'.

    Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie with a RC cold drank,
    We go together like a skunk goes with stank.
    Some men, they buy chocolate for Valentine's Day;
    They git it at Wal-Mart, it's romantic that way.

    Some men git roses on that special day
    From the cooler at Kroger. That's impressive," I say.
    Some men buy fine diamonds from a flea market booth.
    "Diamonds are forever," they explain, suave and couth.

    But for this man, honey, these won't do.
    Cause yor'e too special, you sweet thang you.
    I got you a gift, without taste nor odor,
    More useful than diamonds......IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR!!
    Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked Hulk in the face. Now he hides in the forest and changed his name to Shrek

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    parker county, tx
    Posts
    7,923

    Default



    I hate to admit it, but I have a birthday coming up soon, and I'm asking DH for a new chop saw. Does that make me a redneck woman?
    So many weeds.......so little time.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Annville, Ky.
    Posts
    487

    Default

    If I wasn't already married I would be asking you for a date. LOL

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    parker county, tx
    Posts
    7,923

    Default

    Well JIm, I guess that confirms it.
    So many weeds.......so little time.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Fresno California USA
    Posts
    2,496

    Default

    Nothing like a good laugh to start the day!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    VENTURA, California, USA
    Posts
    3,637

    Default and I'm asking DH for a new chop saw

    You might want to drop a hint about a MAKITA compound miter saw.
    Try leaving a brochure by the comode so he might get the "hint'
    Ernie
    Ernie
    My websitehttp://bees4u.com/

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Ennis, TX USA
    Posts
    5,051

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by dragonfly View Post


    I hate to admit it, but I have a birthday coming up soon, and I'm asking DH for a new chop saw. Does that make me a redneck woman?
    Yes it does, but that also puts you in the top running for wife of the year.
    Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked Hulk in the face. Now he hides in the forest and changed his name to Shrek

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Knoxville, TN, USA
    Posts
    68

    Default

    Forget hints. Us men like the direct approach best. TELL US exactly what you want so you will get exactly what you want.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    parker county, tx
    Posts
    7,923

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by BEES4U View Post
    You might want to drop a hint about a MAKITA compound miter saw.
    Try leaving a brochure by the comode so he might get the "hint'
    Ernie
    Do you think that may work?

    Actually, what I want is a basic model, lighter-weight chop saw than the Rigid we have. It's a great saw, but it gets heavy to get out of the big tool bin we keep it in, and I detest the fact that I have to push down a lever to activate the other "on" button. to me, tools should be simple and should not require the dexterity of a concert pianist to operate them.
    So many weeds.......so little time.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    parker county, tx
    Posts
    7,923

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Derek View Post
    Yes it does, but that also puts you in the top running for wife of the year.
    Aw Derek. You're gonna make me blush.
    So many weeds.......so little time.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    parker county, tx
    Posts
    7,923

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by pilothawk View Post
    Forget hints. Us men like the direct approach best. TELL US exactly what you want so you will get exactly what you want.
    Heh. DH has been telling me that for many years now. The problem is, we women want you to read our minds the way we read yours.
    So many weeds.......so little time.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Annville, Ky.
    Posts
    487

    Default

    Ours is easy to read. LOL

  13. #13
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Noble County, Indiana, USA
    Posts
    52

    Default

    in a vaguely distubing way, that reminds me of half my family 0.o
    ~the girl who made a treaty with the bees~

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Ads