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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Ennis, TX USA
    Posts
    5,125

    Default Murder at Walmart

    Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed.

    A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.'


    Artie then explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $5,000.

    The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money.

    Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, &reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.

    A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Super Wal-Mart store. There, he surprised her in the produce department &proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands &as the poor u nsuspecting woman drew her last breath &slumped to the floor........

    The manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol' Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.

    However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras &observed by the store's security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught &arrested before he could even leave the store.

    Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested.

    The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared ...










    'ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 AT WAL-MART!'

    Oh, quit groaning!
    I don't write this stuff,
    Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afraid to move.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    parker county, tx
    Posts
    7,923

    Default

    oh, GROANNNNN
    So many weeds.......so little time.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    OPP, Al USA
    Posts
    415

    Default

    So Corny you could shuck it!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Ennis, TX USA
    Posts
    5,125

    Default

    Thought you might like that one DF.

    Gotta throw a corny one in from time to time. But that was SWEET corn. HAB.
    Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afraid to move.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Concord NH
    Posts
    2,665

    Default

    Oldie but goodie
    Milk Cows Not Taxpayers

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    OPP, Al USA
    Posts
    415

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Derek View Post
    Thought you might like that one DF.

    Gotta throw a corny one in from time to time. But that was SWEET corn. HAB.
    Yes it was!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Ennis, TX USA
    Posts
    5,125

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by JPK1NH View Post
    Oldie but goodie
    When did the jaws of the gator let you go?
    Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afraid to move.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    berkshire county MA
    Posts
    1,472

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