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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Oxford, Kansas
    Posts
    1,988

    Thumbs Up PETA loves bullseye bill

    Bullseye walks into a local pool hall with his pet turtle in his hand
    The turtle's one eye is black and blue, two of his legs are bandaged, and his whole shell is taped together with duct tape.
    The bartender looks at Bill and asks:
    "What's wrong with your turtle?"

    "Not a thing In fact this beat up turtle is faster than your dog!"
    The Barkeep laughed at this one and told Bill "Not a chance!"
    "Okay then, says the Bill... you take your dog and let him stand at one end of the bar. Then go and stand at the other end of the room and call your dog. I'll bet you $500 that before your dog reaches you, my turtle will be there."
    So the bartender, thinking it's an easy $500, agrees.
    The bartender goes to the other side of the bar, and on the count of three calls his dog.

    At the count of three Bill picks up his turtle and throws it across the room, narrowly missing the Bar tender, and smashing into the wall.
    Bill with a big grin on his face looks at the Barkeep and Declares

    "I WIN... Told you it'll be there before your dog"

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    goshen, ma
    Posts
    359

    Default

    that was horribly funny.

    -Jeff

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Maribel, WI, USA
    Posts
    42

    Default

    or just horrible! It always makes me cringe when people find animal abuse funny.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Limestone Co, Alabama
    Posts
    1,674

    Big Grin Geting an ear full.

    Quote Originally Posted by riverrat View Post
    ...At the count of three Bill picks up his turtle and throws it across the room...Bill with a big grin on his face looks at the barkeep and Declares, "I WIN... Told you it'll be there before your dog"
    My old granny once told me, "Sonny boy," she said, "Never bet a man in a pool hall he can't make a one-eyed jack jump out of a deck of cards and spit apple cider in your ear, cause your going to wind up with an ear full of apple cider EVERY time!"
    Scrapfe---Never believe anything in politics until it has been officially denied.--Otto von Bismarck.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Oxford, Kansas
    Posts
    1,988

    turtles alright

    Quote Originally Posted by learning View Post
    or just horrible! It always makes me cringe when people find animal abuse funny.
    Dont worry no turtles was actually abused in the making of this joke. Bills pet turtle is just fine. He lost a little duct tape. Once that is replaced he will be ready to go again
    Last edited by riverrat; 01-26-2009 at 05:52 PM.

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