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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Ennis, TX USA
    Posts
    5,124

    Default 20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

    1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

    2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

    3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

    4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it 'In'.

    5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

    6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Sexual Favors' ..

    7. Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.

    8. Don't use any punctuation.

    9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

    10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

    11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

    12. Sing Along At The Opera.

    13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

    14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

    15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because

    You're Not In the Mood.

    16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

    17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'

    18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling
    'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

    19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.' (one of my favorites!)& lt; /SPAN>

    20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity ..
    Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afraid to move.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    berkshire county MA
    Posts
    1,472

    Default

    We DO need more cowbell.
    Last edited by berkshire bee; 01-21-2009 at 10:49 PM. Reason: that was a great skit

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Ennis, TX USA
    Posts
    5,124

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by berkshire bee View Post
    We DO need more cowbell.

    lol!!

    Ask and you shall recieve. It's a video for you dial uppers.

    Cowbell
    Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afraid to move.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    The Scenic Flint Hills , KS
    Posts
    5,159

    Default

    It was you Derek! I thought you were asking for a cowbell smilie.
    Bullseye Bill in The Scenic Flint Hills , KS
    www.myspace.com/dukewilliam

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Dane County, WI.
    Posts
    3,721

    Default

    19) "Tell Your Children Over Dinner,..""Due to the Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go"". (one of my favorites!) --Derek.

    Maybe you should have a room in the,. 'asylum'. Sorry, no windows,..plenty of 'bars' though.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Ennis, TX USA
    Posts
    5,124

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by BULLSEYE BILL View Post
    It was you Derek! I thought you were asking for a cowbell smilie.

    I don't remember asking for one. But I would take it. I love me some cowbell! We did get the
    Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afraid to move.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    parker county, tx
    Posts
    7,923

    Default



    I got a great chuckle out of those- especially the "for sexual favors" and "in accordance with the prophecy" ones.
    So many weeds.......so little time.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Lavaca county, Texas
    Posts
    497

    Default

    From a supernatural thriller/romance I read recently:

    "When the insane starts arranging itself in recognizable patterns around you, you know you've got problems." -- KMM


    Sum

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Urbana, IA
    Posts
    294

    Default

    I like to shop for other people. Just pick up a few small random items in your local grocery/big box/wal mart, and drop them into random peoples carts. Sit back and watch them check out if you can, otherwise imagine the reaction when they get home and find the sardine paste or microwave pork rinds.

    Cheers, Phil

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Dane County, WI.
    Posts
    3,721

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by phil c View Post
    I like to shop for other people. Just pick up a few small random items in your local grocery/big box/wal mart, and drop them into random peoples carts. Sit back and watch them check out if you can, otherwise imagine the reaction when they get home and find the sardine paste or microwave pork rinds.

    Cheers, Phil
    No wonder ya gotta be,.. "Hawkeyes" in Iowa. Watch that,..'Phil'!

    Good thing I don't go shopping much in Iowa!

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