Blue Necks

[BULLSEYE BILL]

Did you ever hear of a Blue Neck?

Bluenecks ARE NORTHERNERS... I'm sure that you have heard all the Redneck jokes. Now here are some takes on how Southern folks look at our Northern cousins:

YOU JUST MIGHT BE A BLUE NECK IF:

You think barbecue is a verb meaning, "to cook outside."

You think Heinz Ketchup is REALLY spicy!

You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly.

For breakfast, you would prefer potato au gratin [awh....what? ] to grits.

You have never, ever eaten okra.....fried or boiled.

You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.

You have no idea what a polecat is.

You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a poodle.

You don't have bangs.

You would rather vacation at Martha's Vineyard than Six Flags.

Instead of referring to two or more people as " ya'll," you call them "you guys," even if both of them are women.

You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-n-knife show.

You don't have at least one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house.

You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.

You call binoculars opera glasses.

You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of the road and....Stopping!

You don't know anyone with at least two first names (i.e., Joe Bob, Bizzy Bee Bob, Faye Ellen, Dragon Fly, Derek Ray, Mary Jo, River Rat, Bubba Dean, Joe Dan, Ted Joe, Mary Alice).

You don't have doilies, and you don't know how to make one....[ or even know what the heck one is,....or even care....but we won't say that right here, bless your heart.] You probably get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you.

You can do your laundry without quarters.

None of your fur coats are homemade, bless your heart.

[dragonfly]

That is absolutely wonderful! I've never heard it before.

[Hambone]

Those are really good. I don't know which is my favorite. I guess I will go with spicy.

You think Heinz Ketchup is REALLY spicy!

[dragonfly]

I couldn't pick just one favorite. These are all on my list:

You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly.

.You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-n-knife show.

You don't have at least one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house.

You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.

You call binoculars opera glasses.

You don't know anyone with at least two first names

You probably get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you.

[Scrapfe]

You don't know anyone with at least two first names (i.e., Joe Bob, Bizzy Bee Bob, Faye Ellen, Dragon Fly, Derek Ray, Mary Jo, River Rat, Bubba Dean, Joe Dan, Ted Joe, Mary Alice).

Bee careful what you say, you might make a fool of yourself.

For a while I dated a woman from Iowa. I suspected the only reason she went with me is because she liked to hear me read William Faulkner novels aloud. As we walked into Kroger one day she confided to me that as long as she had lived in Alabama (25 years) she had never met a man named Billy Bob. When we went through the automatic door who did I see in the express checkout line but the mayor of a small town 15 miles North of here, Billy Bob J----s. “Why ole Billy Bob J----s you son-of-a-gun, I ain’t seen you in a coons’ age,” I bellowed, slapping him on the back and pumping his hand, “Here, I want you to meet my lady friend.”

However, you could speak right up and remove all doubt.

I had an old yellow dog that may have had some lab in him, but it was hard to say. Best I could tell his daddy was a traveling man, and his mama the talk of the town. A real pretty dog though that someone had tossed as a puppy and I had took in. Dog would lie on the concrete floor in my office during hot weather. A lady from up North came in one day and was admiring my dog, she asked me, “Mister that is a real good looking dog you have, what breed is he?

“Why Mam,” I drawled real slow and thickly, “That thair dawg is a purebred, 100% genuwine, reggistered, Yeller Dawg.”

“Ooh,” she replied in an awe struck tone, “I have always heard about them as long as I have lived here, but I have never seen a real one before!”

[Hambone]

For a while I dated a woman from Iowa. I suspected the only reason she went with me is because she liked to hear me read William Faulkner novels aloud.

That's the best couple of lines I have heard all day.

[Hobie]

People still have bangs?

[Bizzybee]

Bill does, on his lip.

[summer1052]

You might be a blueneck if:

You had no earthly idea that "Bless your heart" could be used as an insult.

Sum
Bless her heart!

[charmd2]

summer you got it all wrong. Bless her heart is used as an excuse to say whatever you want to about a person and have it forgiven.

As in.. He's not smart enough to tighten the lug nuts on his tires. Bless his heart.

She's been running around with the "milkman". Bless her heart..

[ScadsOBees]

Blue...that reminds me of ice fishermen....
The ice is blue, their hands are blue, their lips are blue, shucks, even their language gets blue!!

[summer1052]

You might be a blueneck if:

You have never given someone a gift for their new deer stand.

You wonder why someone would want peanuts with a carbonated beverage.

You think a Yankee is a baseball player, not a political , moral, and geographic affiliation.

You had alka seltzer on New Year's Day, not black eyed peas or hoppin' john.

You did not know there were still unpaved roads in the US.

Your garage/shed/shop is smaller than your house.


Summer

[berkshire bee]

My nephew moved to ohio and married a west verginny girl. Everyone up here got a hoot when we were out at a restaurant and she said " Could you please pass the war-chester shire sauce.
She got a kick out of hearing us call a small hill a bankin, and the fact that we use "eh" at the end of every statement

[Hobie]

A bankin? I grew up in N central CT, and have never heard that one!