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Thread: Blue Necks

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    The Scenic Flint Hills , KS
    Posts
    5,159

    Wink Blue Necks

    Did you ever hear of a Blue Neck?

    Bluenecks ARE NORTHERNERS... I'm sure that you have heard all the Redneck jokes. Now here are some takes on how Southern folks look at our Northern cousins:

    YOU JUST MIGHT BE A BLUE NECK IF:

    You think barbecue is a verb meaning, "to cook outside."

    You think Heinz Ketchup is REALLY spicy!

    You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly.

    For breakfast, you would prefer potato au gratin [awh....what? ] to grits.

    You have never, ever eaten okra.....fried or boiled.

    You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.

    You have no idea what a polecat is.

    You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a poodle.

    You don't have bangs.

    You would rather vacation at Martha's Vineyard than Six Flags.

    Instead of referring to two or more people as " ya'll," you call them "you guys," even if both of them are women.

    You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-n-knife show.

    You don't have at least one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house.

    You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.

    You call binoculars opera glasses.

    You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of the road and....Stopping!

    You don't know anyone with at least two first names (i.e., Joe Bob, Bizzy Bee Bob, Faye Ellen, Dragon Fly, Derek Ray, Mary Jo, River Rat, Bubba Dean, Joe Dan, Ted Joe, Mary Alice).

    You don't have doilies, and you don't know how to make one....[ or even know what the heck one is,....or even care....but we won't say that right here, bless your heart.] You probably get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you.

    You can do your laundry without quarters.

    None of your fur coats are homemade, bless your heart.


    Bullseye Bill in The Scenic Flint Hills , KS
    www.myspace.com/dukewilliam

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    parker county, tx
    Posts
    7,923

    Default

    That is absolutely wonderful! I've never heard it before.
    So many weeds.......so little time.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Ennis, TX USA
    Posts
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    Default

    Those are really good. I don't know which is my favorite. I guess I will go with spicy.

    You think Heinz Ketchup is REALLY spicy!
    Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked Hulk in the face. Now he hides in the forest and changed his name to Shrek

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    parker county, tx
    Posts
    7,923

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    I couldn't pick just one favorite. These are all on my list:

    You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly.

    .You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-n-knife show.

    You don't have at least one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house.

    You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.

    You call binoculars opera glasses.

    You don't know anyone with at least two first names

    You probably get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you.

    So many weeds.......so little time.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Limestone Co, Alabama
    Posts
    1,675

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by BULLSEYE BILL View Post
    You don't know anyone with at least two first names (i.e., Joe Bob, Bizzy Bee Bob, Faye Ellen, Dragon Fly, Derek Ray, Mary Jo, River Rat, Bubba Dean, Joe Dan, Ted Joe, Mary Alice).
    Bee careful what you say, you might make a fool of yourself.

    For a while I dated a woman from Iowa. I suspected the only reason she went with me is because she liked to hear me read William Faulkner novels aloud. As we walked into Kroger one day she confided to me that as long as she had lived in Alabama (25 years) she had never met a man named Billy Bob. When we went through the automatic door who did I see in the express checkout line but the mayor of a small town 15 miles North of here, Billy Bob J----s. “Why ole Billy Bob J----s you son-of-a-gun, I ain’t seen you in a coons’ age,” I bellowed, slapping him on the back and pumping his hand, “Here, I want you to meet my lady friend.”

    However, you could speak right up and remove all doubt.

    I had an old yellow dog that may have had some lab in him, but it was hard to say. Best I could tell his daddy was a traveling man, and his mama the talk of the town. A real pretty dog though that someone had tossed as a puppy and I had took in. Dog would lie on the concrete floor in my office during hot weather. A lady from up North came in one day and was admiring my dog, she asked me, “Mister that is a real good looking dog you have, what breed is he?

    “Why Mam,” I drawled real slow and thickly, “That thair dawg is a purebred, 100% genuwine, reggistered, Yeller Dawg.”

    “Ooh,” she replied in an awe struck tone, “I have always heard about them as long as I have lived here, but I have never seen a real one before!”
    Scrapfe---Never believe anything in politics until it has been officially denied.--Otto von Bismarck.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Ennis, TX USA
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    5,052

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    Quote Originally Posted by Scrapfe View Post
    For a while I dated a woman from Iowa. I suspected the only reason she went with me is because she liked to hear me read William Faulkner novels aloud.
    That's the best couple of lines I have heard all day.
    Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked Hulk in the face. Now he hides in the forest and changed his name to Shrek

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Erie, PA
    Posts
    2,030

    Default

    People still have bangs?
    “The keeping of bees is like the direction of sunbeams.” -Henry David Thoreau

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Loganville, GA
    Posts
    2,174

    Default

    Bill does, on his lip.
    "Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts." Winston Churchill

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Lavaca county, Texas
    Posts
    489

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    You might be a blueneck if:

    You had no earthly idea that "Bless your heart" could be used as an insult.

    Sum
    Bless her heart!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    St. Clair Co. Missouri
    Posts
    225

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    summer you got it all wrong. Bless her heart is used as an excuse to say whatever you want to about a person and have it forgiven.

    As in.. He's not smart enough to tighten the lug nuts on his tires. Bless his heart.

    She's been running around with the "milkman". Bless her heart..
    Charla Hinkle

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Jenison, MI
    Posts
    1,514

    Default

    Blue...that reminds me of ice fishermen....
    The ice is blue, their hands are blue, their lips are blue, shucks, even their language gets blue!!

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Lavaca county, Texas
    Posts
    489

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    You might be a blueneck if:

    You have never given someone a gift for their new deer stand.

    You wonder why someone would want peanuts with a carbonated beverage.

    You think a Yankee is a baseball player, not a political , moral, and geographic affiliation.

    You had alka seltzer on New Year's Day, not black eyed peas or hoppin' john.

    You did not know there were still unpaved roads in the US.

    Your garage/shed/shop is smaller than your house.


    Summer

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    berkshire county MA
    Posts
    1,474

    Default

    My nephew moved to ohio and married a west verginny girl. Everyone up here got a hoot when we were out at a restaurant and she said " Could you please pass the war-chester shire sauce.
    She got a kick out of hearing us call a small hill a bankin, and the fact that we use "eh" at the end of every statement

  14. #14
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Erie, PA
    Posts
    2,030

    Default

    A bankin? I grew up in N central CT, and have never heard that one!
    “The keeping of bees is like the direction of sunbeams.” -Henry David Thoreau

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