Good pilot

[BULLSEYE BILL]

RiverRat, Derek, and TwT were on the BeeSource plane. RiverRat looked at Derek, chuckled and said, 'You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy.





Derek shrugged his shoulders and replied, 'I could throw ten
$100 bills out of the window and make ten people very happy.





Ted added, That being the case, I could throw one hundred $10 bills out of
The window and make a hundred people very happy.'



Hearing their exchange, Bizzy Beethe pilot, rolled his eyes and said to his co-pilot Dragonfly, 'Such big-shots back there. I could throw all of their behinds out of the window and make everyone happy.'

[Hambone]

With this crew I would love to see the plane even get off the ground.

[dragonfly]

With this crew I would love to see the plane even get off the ground.

That would never happen. I would insist on being the pilot.

Cute joke BB

[Bizzybee]

Ain't even off the ground yet and the back seat driver is already hollering!!

[TwT]

Ain't even off the ground yet and the back seat driver is already hollering!!

you dang right, wheres the stewardess with my beer

[Bizzybee]

Wellllll Duhhhh, that's you!!! Hurry it up, we're thirsty!!!!

[Hambone]

you dang right, wheres the stewardess with my beer

Whoa............there! I ain't going down sober. Bring me a double!!

[dragonfly]

you dang right, wheres the stewardess with my beer

Well, it ain't me. I'm not tall enough.

[BEES4U]

Redneck Engineering Exam

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound possum.
2. Which of the following cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard? a) '66 Ford Fairlane b) '69 Chevrolet Chevelle c) '64 Pontiac GTO
3. If your uncle builds a still that operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine per hour, how many car radiators are necessary to condense the product?
4. A pulpwood cutter has chain saw that operates at 2700 rpm. The density of the pine trees in a plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The lot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweiser Tall-Boys will it take to cut the trees?
5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the decrease in the ozone layer?
6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1 inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?
7. A man owns a house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has 5 children. Can each of the children place a mobile home on the man's land?
8. A 2-ton pulpwood truck is overloaded and proceeding down a steep grade on a secondary road at 45 mph. The brakes fail. Given the average traffic loading of secondary roads, how many people will swerve to avoid the truck before it crashes at the bottom of the mountain? For extra credit, how many of the vehicles that swerved will have mufflers and uncracked windshields?
9. A Coal Mine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during the shift?
10. How many generations will it take before cattle develop two legs shorter than the others because of grazing along a mountainside?

Ernie