Brave Captain Riverrat...
One fine day, Brave Captain Riverrat and his crew of sailors were sailing the ocean blue. Suddenly, on the horizon, there loomed a ship with a skull & crossbones raised on the mast.
The crew was frantic, seeking refuge and asking the captain what to do. Brave Captain Riverrat looked at the approaching ship for a moment and said "Bring me my red shirt."
The call was taken up at once by a cabin boy. As soon as Riverrat had the shirt in his possession, he ordered the man at the wheel to head straight for the pirate ship. In the ensuing fight, the pirate ship was all but destroyed.
The sailors were recounting their individual triumphs when someone asked Captain Riverrat why he had asked for his red shirt before the battle.
He responded "If I was wounded, I did not want your confidence to wane. This way, you would keep fighting no matter what happened to me."
The crew had a new found admiration for its captain, and the crew talked all night about his bravery. About a week later, there loomed on the horizon TEN pirate ships. Once again, the crew looked to its captain for leadership. Calmly, Captain Riverrat said "Bring me my brown pants."
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked Hulk in the face. Now he hides in the forest and changed his name to Shrek