Riverrat went to a Psychiatrist
"Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm going crazy!" "Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears." "How much do you charge?" "A hundred dollars per visit." "I'll sleep on it," said Riverrat. Six months later the doctor met Riverrat on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist. "For a hundred bucks a visit? A bartender cured me for $10." "Is that so! How?" "He told me to cut the legs off the bed!" "Ain't nobody under there now!!!
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afraid to move.