The Older Crowd
A distraught senior citizen phoned her
"Is it true," she wanted to know,
Medication you prescribed has to be taken for the
rest of my life?"
"Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor
There was a moment of silence before the
senior lady replied, "I'm wondering, then,
how serious is my condition because this
Prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'."
An older gentleman was on the operating table
awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a
Renowned surgeon, perform the operation.
As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to
speak to his son.
"Yes, Dad, what is it? "
"Don't be nervous, son; do your
best and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if
something happens to me, your mother is going to come
and live with you and your wife...."
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when
you stop lying about your age and start
Bragging about it.
The older we get, the fewer things seem
worth waiting in line for.
Some people try to turn back their odometers.
Not me! I want people to know "why" I
look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the
roads weren't paved.
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go
back to youth, think of Algebra.
You know you are getting old when everything
either dries up or leaks.
One of the many things no one tells you about
aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.
Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is
First you forget names, then you forget faces.
Then you forget to pull up your zipper. It's worse when
you forget to pull it down.
Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground
with sticks, it was called witchcraft...
Today, it's called golf.
Two old guys are pushing their carts around
Wal-Mart when they collide. The first old guy
says to the second guy, "Sorry about that.
looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't
attention to where I was going."
The second old guy says, "That's OK,
coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I
can't find her and I'm getting a little
The first old guy says, "Well, maybe I can
you find her. What does she look like?" The
second old guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs old,
tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, and is wearing
short shorts. What does your wife look like?"
To which the first old guy says, "Doesn't
--- let's look for yours."
Keep your arm around my shoulder
and your hand over my mouth
"Life without God is like an unsharpened pencil - it has no point."