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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    parker county, tx
    Posts
    7,923

    Default A gynecologist changes professions

    A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork and was burned out. Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic.

    He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could. When the time for the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks and completed the exam with tremendous skill. When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%.

    Fearing an error, he called the instructor, saying, "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if there is an error in the grade." The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. "You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark." After a pause, the instructor added, "I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the muffler, which I've never seen done in my entire career."
    So many weeds.......so little time.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    VENTURA, California, USA
    Posts
    3,604

    Default "I gave you an extra 50% because

    LOL
    Keep them coming!
    Ernie
    Ernie
    My websitehttp://bees4u.com/

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    parker county, tx
    Posts
    7,923

    Default

    Ernie, glad you thought it was funny. I was beginning to think I had offended everybody on beesource Maybe it's because I'm a woman, but I thought it was pretty cute.
    So many weeds.......so little time.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    hamburg, new york, usa
    Posts
    440

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by dragonfly View Post
    but I thought it was pretty cute.
    It was and funny! hahahaha

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Limestone Co, Alabama
    Posts
    1,674

    Default yuks

    Quote Originally Posted by BEES4U View Post
    LOL Keep them coming! Ernie
    What is the best time for kangaroos?


    Leap Year!!!!
    Scrapfe---Never believe anything in politics until it has been officially denied.--Otto von Bismarck.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Brasher Falls, NY, USA
    Posts
    27,596

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by dragonfly View Post
    Ernie, glad you thought it was funny. I was beginning to think I had offended everybody on beesource Maybe it's because I'm a woman, but I thought it was pretty cute.
    Cute? Shucks, it was funny.
    Mark Berninghausen #youmatter

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    parker county, tx
    Posts
    7,923

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by sqkcrk View Post
    Cute? Shucks, it was funny.
    Cute is one of those older woman things. Definitely not a guy word.
    So many weeds.......so little time.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Hillsboro, Wisconsin, USA
    Posts
    1,672

    Default

    Amusing, DF!

    However, the specialist should have been a Proctologist in this case, if he did the work through the muffler. Gynecologist would have been intake manifold or some such engine part...

    MM

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    parker county, tx
    Posts
    7,923

    Default

    However, the specialist should have been a Proctologist in this case, if he did the work through the muffler. Gynecologist would have been intake manifold or some such engine part...

    You're right! I didn't think of that.
    So many weeds.......so little time.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    VENTURA, California, USA
    Posts
    3,604

    Default Superior Health Insurance

    name withheld)
    Minnetonka, MN 55345

    Superior Health Insurance
    ATTN: Claims Review
    1423 W. 90th St.
    New York, NY 05016

    Dear Sir:

    This letter is in response to your recent letter requesting a more detailed explanation concerning my recent internment at Methodist Hospital. Specifically, you asked for an expansion in reference to Block 21(a)(3) of the claim form (reason for hospital visit). On the original form, I put "Stupidity". I realize now that this answer was somewhat vague and so I will attempt to more fully explain the circumstances leading up to my hospitalization.

    I had needed to use the restroom and had just finished a quick bite to eat at the local burger joint. I entered the bathroom, took care of my business, and just prior to the moment in which I had planned to raise my trousers, the locked case that prevents theft of the toilet paper in such places came undone and, feeling it striking my knee, unthinkingly, I immediately, and with unnecessary force, returned the lid back to its normal position.

    Unfortunately, as I did this I also turned and certain parts of my body, which were still exposed, were trapped between the device's lid and its main body. Feeling such intense and immediate pain caused me to jump back. It quickly came to my attention that, when one's privates are firmly attached to an immovable object, it is not a good idea to jump in the opposite direction.

    Upon recovering some of my senses, I attempted to reopen the lid. However, my slamming of it had been sufficient to allow the locking mechanism to engage. I then proceeded to get a hold on my pants and subsequently removed my keys from them. I intended to try to force the lock of the device open with one of my keys; thus extracting myself.

    Unfortunately, when I attempted this, my key broke in the lock. Embarrassment of someone seeing me in this unique position became a minor concern, and I began to call for help in as much of a calm and rational manner as I could. An employee from the restaurant quickly arrived and decided that this was a problem requiring the attention of the store manager.

    Betty, the manager, came quickly. She attempted to unlock the device with her keys. Since I had broken my key off in the device, she could not get her key in. Seeing no other solution, she called the EMS (as indicated on your form in block 21(b)(1)).

    After approximately 15 minutes, the EMS arrived, along with two police officers, a fire-rescue squad, and the channel 4 ''On-the-Spot'' news team. The guys from the fire department quickly took charge as this was obviously a rescue operation. The senior member of the team discovered that the device was attached with bolts to the cement wall that could only be reached once the device was unlocked. (His discovery was by means of tearing apart the device located in the stall next to the one that I was in. (Since the value of the property destroyed in his examination was less than $50 (my deductible) I did not include it in my claim.) His partner, who seemed like an intelligent fellow at the time, came up with the idea of cutting the device from the wall with the propane torch that was in the rescue truck.

    The fireman went to his truck, retrieved the torch, and commenced to attempt to cut the device from the wall. Had I been in a state to think of such things, I might have realized that in cutting the device from the wall several things would also inevitably happen. First, the air inside of the device would quickly heat up, causing items inside the device to suffer the same effects that are normally achieved by placing things in an oven. Second, the metal in the device is a good conductor of heat causing items that are in contact with the device to react as if thrown into a hot skillet. And, third, molten metal would shower the inside of the device as the torch cut through.

    The one bright note of the propane torch was that it did manage to cut, in the brief time that I allowed them to use it, a hole big enough for a small pry bar to be placed inside of the device. The EMS team then loaded me, along with the device, into the waiting ambulance as stated on your form.

    Due the small area of your block 21(a)(3), I was unable to give a full explanation of these events, and thus used the word which I thought best described my actions that led to my hospitalization.

    Sincerely,
    (name withheld)
    Ernie
    My websitehttp://bees4u.com/

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    parker county, tx
    Posts
    7,923

    Default


    BEES4U, I am laughing so hard I have tears rolling down my cheeks. That was great!
    So many weeds.......so little time.

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