Results 1 to 6 of 6

Hybrid View

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Ennis, TX USA
    Posts
    5,034

    Default Corny joke of the day

    DEAD DUCK

    A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.
    After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, your Duck Cuddles has passed away."The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?
    "Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied.
    "How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

    The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador retriever.

    As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from
    top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

    The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a cat.

    The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed
    softly and strolled out of the room.

    The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

    Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.

    The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill.

    "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!!"


    The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150.00."
    Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked Hulk in the face. Now he hides in the forest and changed his name to Shrek

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    parker county, tx
    Posts
    7,923

    Default

    I must admit that is one of the corniest jokes I have ever read.
    So many weeds.......so little time.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    VENTURA, California, USA
    Posts
    3,599

    Default Another duck joke.

    A motorist in a Mercedes was driving through the countryside on a beautiful Saturday afternoon, having a lovely time, when he came to an area of the road that was covered with a rather large puddle of water from a previous rain storm. Worried that he was going to damage the car and its engine in the deep water, he asked a local farmer (who just happened to be standing near the large pool of water) how deep the water was. "Arr", said the local farmer "That water only be a few inches deep!" Relieved, the motorist edged his car into the water, expecting to come out the other side in no time. Instead, as he drove in, the water came right up the side of the car, and the engine sputtered to a halt. Sitting there with the water along with and a floating weed lapping at the window, the motorist yelled at the local angrily: "I thought you said this water was only a few inches deep!!!" "Well", replied the local farmer "It only come up to the waist of them there ducks!"

    Ernie
    Ernie
    My websitehttp://bees4u.com/

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    parker county, tx
    Posts
    7,923

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by BEES4U View Post
    "I thought you said this water was only a few inches deep!!!" "Well", replied the local farmer "It only come up to the waist of them there ducks!"

    Ernie

    Was that an Aggie joke, an Arkie joke, or an Okie joke?
    So many weeds.......so little time.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Limestone Co, Alabama
    Posts
    1,674

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by dragonfly View Post
    Was that an Aggie joke, an Arkie joke, or an Okie joke?
    Naw, sounded like an Auburn Tiger joke to me.
    Scrapfe---Never believe anything in politics until it has been officially denied.--Otto von Bismarck.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Dane County, WI.
    Posts
    3,721

    Default

    I liked that one Derek. I read here once that it helps to remember a joke by the 'punch line'. So I'll have to remember,..'Cat Scan' and 'Lab Report'.

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Ads