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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Damascus, Maryland
    Posts
    376

    Default For Us Young at Heart

    The Older Crowd


    A distraught senior citizen phoned her

    Doctor's' office.

    "Is it true," she wanted to know,

    "that the

    Medication you prescribed has to be taken for the

    rest of my life?"

    "Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor

    told her

    There was a moment of silence before the

    senior lady replied, "I'm wondering, then,

    just

    how serious is my condition because this

    Prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'."



    ***********************

    An older gentleman was on the operating table

    awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a

    Renowned surgeon, perform the operation.



    As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to

    speak to his son.



    "Yes, Dad, what is it? "

    "Don't be nervous, son; do your

    best and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if

    something happens to me, your mother is going to come

    and live with you and your wife...."



    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



    Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when

    you stop lying about your age and start

    Bragging about it.



    ---------------------------------

    The older we get, the fewer things seem

    worth waiting in line for.



    ---------------------------------



    Some people try to turn back their odometers.



    Not me! I want people to know "why" I

    look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the

    roads weren't paved.



    ********************



    When you are dissatisfied and would like to go

    back to youth, think of Algebra.



    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



    You know you are getting old when everything

    either dries up or leaks.



    -------------------------------

    One of the many things no one tells you about

    aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.





    <><><><><><><><><>





    Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is

    comfortable.





    <><><><><><><><><>





    First you forget names, then you forget faces.

    Then you forget to pull up your zipper. It's worse when

    you forget to pull it down.



    ---------------------------------



    Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground

    with sticks, it was called witchcraft...

    Today, it's called golf.



    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Two old guys are pushing their carts around

    Wal-Mart when they collide. The first old guy

    says to the second guy, "Sorry about that.

    I'm

    looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't

    paying

    attention to where I was going."



    The second old guy says, "That's OK,

    it's a

    coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I

    can't find her and I'm getting a little

    desperate."



    The first old guy says, "Well, maybe I can

    help

    you find her. What does she look like?" The

    second old guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs old,

    tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, and is wearing

    short shorts. What does your wife look like?"

    To which the first old guy says, "Doesn't

    matter,

    --- let's look for yours."



    *********************

    Lord,

    Keep your arm around my shoulder

    and your hand over my mouth.
    "Life without God is like an unsharpened pencil - it has no point."

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    parker county, tx
    Posts
    7,923

    Default

    Oh J-Bees, that was marvelous
    Thanks for brightening my day. I can really identify with several of them. In fact, I had to drive into town today, and I looked down and noticed my zipper on my jeans was down. Fortunately, I was still in the car, and no one managed to catch me.
    So many weeds.......so little time.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Ennis, TX USA
    Posts
    5,031

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by dragonfly View Post
    Oh J-Bees, that was marvelous
    I looked down and noticed my zipper on my jeans was down. Fortunately, I was still in the car, and no one managed to catch me.
    Truckers caught ya.
    Last edited by Hambone; 11-19-2008 at 03:08 PM.
    Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked Hulk in the face. Now he hides in the forest and changed his name to Shrek

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Ennis, TX USA
    Posts
    5,031

    Default

    The Older Crowd
    Im the younger crowd. But thought they were good.
    Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked Hulk in the face. Now he hides in the forest and changed his name to Shrek

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    parker county, tx
    Posts
    7,923

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Derek View Post
    Truckers caught ya.

    Nope- I looked first to make sure.
    So many weeds.......so little time.

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