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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2001
    Location
    New York City
    Posts
    3,401

    Post

    Postage for 3,000 Christmas cards would run
    close to $1,000.00, so here's my Christmas
    card to the group.

    ==========================================

    T'was the night before Christmas,
    and down in each hive,
    we hoped bees were stirring,
    we hoped they were alive.

    The stores had been fed in fall with great care,
    in hope that the clusters would not form elsewhere.

    The veils and hive tools all hung on their hooks,
    as in winter beekeepers work wood and read books.
    With the wife baking bread, and I a single-malt,
    we would say of any dead-outs "clearly not our fault".

    When out in the fields - a sound like a rock smashing rock,
    I spilled my drink, dropped my book, slapped a clip in a Glock.
    Out the door sprang the dog like a guided cruise missile.
    I followed, running through the burdock and thistle.

    The moon was "new", which meant no moon at all.
    It was darker and blacker than the devil's back hall.
    But night-vision goggles are light-weight and cheap.
    I slowly moved forward - the dog made not a peep.

    When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
    not a sleigh, not a fat guy, no reindeer, no plain deer.
    I knew in a moment, it had to be a bear,
    the hives were all scattered,
    some here, and some there.

    I thought to myself, "This just cannot do!
    Mr. Bear, I must choose, and it ain't gonna be you."
    This was a decision that was filled with great stress,
    but in the grand scheme of things,
    what's one bear, more or less?

    But the bear was THERE - a big 'un.
    And me with such a little gun.
    He turned and he saw me, or maybe it was scent.
    I had only a 9mm.
    I knew what that meant.

    The bear SPOKE (It was Christmas Eve midnight, when animals speak)
    "Gosh, don't blame me, I haven't eaten for a week.
    And you only brought a PISTOL?
    Wow, what a treat!
    I'll forget your silly beehives - I want fresh meat!
    You can shoot your pea-shooter, but you're my dinner, you must confess.
    After all, in the grand scheme of things,
    what's one beekeeper, more or less?"

    He sprang with paws splayed, his claws made the air whistle.
    I hoped some of me would be found - maybe gristle.

    ...Then I heard my wife exclaim, as the bear faded from sight:

    You've fallen asleep by the fire, and on Christmas Eve night!

    ==========================

    jim

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    havana fl
    Posts
    1,353

    Post

    Verry COOOOOOOOOOL Jim
    Merrrrrrryyyyyy Christmas
    Im really not that serious

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Eden, NC
    Posts
    285

    Post

    Jim,
    Great that some dreams you can just wake up from.

    A Merry Christmas to you and all on the list.

    Frank Wyatt
    Eden, NC

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Colorado
    Posts
    1,525

    Post

    Merry Christmas to us all.

    Hawk
    KC0YXI

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Worthington, Pennsylvania USA
    Posts
    1,848

    Post

    Great job as usual Jim, I wish "younz" all a very Merry Christmas and a fantastic 2006.
    "Younz" have a great day, I will.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Seattle, Washington State
    Posts
    4,398

    Post

    I love you all. I love honey bees. you guys make this adventure great.

    MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL!!!!
    Chef Isaac..Culinary Arts and Honey are a sweet mix! http://www.sweetascanbeehoneyfarm.com & http://www.adoptahive.info

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    wills point,tx,usa
    Posts
    130

    Post

    MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    Anchorage, Alaska
    Posts
    1,649

    Post

    Merry Christmas Jim! But shouldn't this bee in Tailgater? Oh, that's right, scrooge took it away.....

  9. #9

    Post

    And a Happy Birthday Jesus to you all!
    - Tim
    <a href=\"http://www.geocities.com/beekeepersofalbemarle/http://www.tidewaterbeekeepers.org\" target=\"_blank\">http://www.geocities.com/beekeepersofalbemarle/http://www.tidewaterbeekeepers.org</a>

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Totnes, Devon, England
    Posts
    1,019

    Post

    Brilliant, Jim!

    I don't do Christmas, but I wish you all a happy solstice and a great season.
    The Barefoot Beekeeper http://www.biobees.com

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Eden, NC
    Posts
    285

    Post

    Dick, In the end even scourge got Christmas

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Greensboro, N.C.
    Posts
    5,080

    Post

    Dick, be thankful for the things you DO have.
    Merry Chridtmas

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    waco, tx
    Posts
    528

    Post

    MERRY CHRISTMAS everyone!

    Lew

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    Columbia, South Carolina USA
    Posts
    2,598

    Post

    Merry Chrismas & Happy New year. May your hives runneth over!

    Keith

    [size="1"][ December 18, 2005, 08:43 AM: Message edited by: kgbenson ][/size]
    Bee Sting Honey - So Good, It Hurts!

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    Columbia, South Carolina USA
    Posts
    2,598

    Big Grin

    whoops in my Christmas fervor I posted twice!

    Keith

    [size="1"][ December 18, 2005, 08:43 AM: Message edited by: kgbenson ][/size]
    Bee Sting Honey - So Good, It Hurts!

  16. #16

    Post

    Best wishes one and all, and thank you for your combined wisdom and humor, Donna

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Cooperstown,N.Y.
    Posts
    474

    Post

    I'm happy to learn that I'm not the only one dreaming about bees.
    You all have been a big help,thank you Barry for setting this in motion and wishing everyone a Very Merry Christmas,and a healthy,happy and PROSPEROUS new year!
    Mark

  18. #18
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    Wayne, NJ USA
    Posts
    381

    Post

    Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays & Best Wishes to All. cj

  19. #19
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    TAVARES FLA US
    Posts
    193

    Post

    MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL FROM THE JACKSONS.

  20. #20
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    chilliwack, bc
    Posts
    638

    Post

    merry christmas everybody and a happy new year
    Will Gruenwald Chilliwack BC

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