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  1. #21
    Join Date
    Jan 2001
    Location
    New York City
    Posts
    3,401

    Post

    Vehicles only break down when fully loaded with
    hives, at 4am, and out of cell-phone range.

    When towed to the shop, they run perfectly.

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Jan 2001
    Location
    New York City
    Posts
    3,401

    Post

    A Special Postulate for the online beekeeper:

    Everyone's wrong; but it doesn't matter since
    nobody really listens to anyone else.

  3. #23
    Join Date
    Jan 2001
    Location
    New York City
    Posts
    3,401

    Post

    All orchards become swamps in spring,
    even those on steep slopes.

  4. #24
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Sawyer, Michigan, USA
    Posts
    2,115

    Post

    You know youÂ’re a Beekeeper if you avoid mowing the lawn because the Dandelions are in bloom.
    The Busy Bee teaches two lessons: One is not to be idle and the other is not to get stung.

  5. #25
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Crown Point , (NW) Indiana
    Posts
    529

    Post

    Two beekeepers in a bar are twice as good as one in the yard.
    There is always more than one way to skin a cat, that's of course if you're into eating cats.

  6. #26
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Kirkland, WA, USA
    Posts
    1,020

    Post

    That little voice in your head saying "This might be a bad idea" is on to something.
    http://www.voiceofthehive.com - Tales of Beekeeping and Honeybees

  7. #27
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Brasher Falls, NY, USA
    Posts
    28,067

    Post

    To quote Robert Deniro in "Ronin", "If there is any doubt, there is no doubt."

    Working with bees in the dark is twice as dangerous as in the day. All mistakes are compunded by darkness.
    Mark Berninghausen
    Squeak Creek Apiaries



  8. #28
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Pilot Hill, Northern CA.
    Posts
    819

    Post

    The day your packages of bees arrive will be the first day of a ten day rainy period.
    Once you see the bandwagon, it's too late.
    www.goldfinch-acres.com

  9. #29
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Pilot Hill, Northern CA.
    Posts
    819

    Post

    When you remove the queen cage from the package of bees, those that manage to escape before you replace the cover are the ones who know exactly where the veil is resting against your face.
    Once you see the bandwagon, it's too late.
    www.goldfinch-acres.com

  10. #30
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Erie, PA
    Posts
    2,030

    Post

    After extracting, there WILL be honey on the doorknob that you never touched.
    “The keeping of bees is like the direction of sunbeams.” -Henry David Thoreau

  11. #31
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Tacoma, Washington USA
    Posts
    332

    Post

    On smokers: They were best right after you finish and have no need of it.

    They were not invented by a beekeeper or you would light them from the bottom.

    They still will bellow smoke no matter how well you emptied it just because you have the weedeater gas in the back of the truck too.


    On coveralls: The obvious hole is never in front and if you do happen to find it before the bees, that you must move in a hail storm, find it, there is another hole just out of sight.

    You never have to go until you put on every bit of gear you wear to the yard, disconnect the electric fence, and just have the smoker working after three hours fighting a broken lighter to light it.

    On bees: The larger the word "GENTLE" was in the queen ad, the meaner the bees.

    The larger the word "PRODUCTIVE" was in the ad, the more feed you need to buy.

    The sound you hear when you replace the last frame in a breeder colony is always the very best queen being mashed.

    CS

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