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  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Pilot Hill, Northern CA.
    Posts
    809

    Post

    1. The chances of fair weather are inversely proportional to the need for hive inspection.
    Once you see the bandwagon, it's too late.
    www.goldfinch-acres.com

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Pilot Hill, Northern CA.
    Posts
    809

    Post

    2. The madder the bees are the lower the chances the smoker will stay lit.
    Once you see the bandwagon, it's too late.
    www.goldfinch-acres.com

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Erin, NY /Florence SC
    Posts
    3,361

    Post

    The number of bees leaking out from under the net is directly parallel to the people walking aimlessly around the truck stop.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    San Mateo, CA
    Posts
    4,804

    Post

    Working more than two hives in an apiary without misplacing one's hive tool is impossible.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Troupsburg, NY
    Posts
    4,074

    Post

    You will always need one more super than you have on the truck.

    If a swarm has a choice between a high branch and a low one, they will always choose the high one.
    "I reject your reality, and substitute my own." Adam Savage

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Urbana, IA
    Posts
    294

    Post

    If there is more than one person near the hives it will still be me that gets stung!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Owen, WI, USA
    Posts
    2,552

    Post

    If the extracting equipment is going to break it waits til you have a crew of three on the payroll to do so.

    Sheri

    [size="1"][ February 20, 2007, 07:54 PM: Message edited by: JohnK and Sheri ][/size]

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Owen, WI, USA
    Posts
    2,552

    Post

    If you take extra boxes for swarms with you to the outyards you don't find any, but if you don't have an extra box you find two.

    Sheri

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Chittenango,Ny (upstate)
    Posts
    309

    Post

    The quick inspection with a light veil means you will drop a crowded frame or super.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Greensboro, N.C.
    Posts
    5,080

    Post

    The seriousness of the breakdown of any piece of equipment is in direct relation to how badly it is needed.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    St. Albans, Vermont
    Posts
    5,256

    Post

    Bees will never fill the supers that are left in the barn.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Jan 2001
    Location
    New York City
    Posts
    3,401

    Post

    All equipment will be damaged in direct
    proportion to the equation V * S * I

    where:

    V = Value
    S = Scarcity
    I = Importance to a mission-critical task.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Erin, NY /Florence SC
    Posts
    3,361

    Post

    The stack of honey supers due to go on the truck for outyards will attract a huge swarm exactly 15 mintues before they are to be put on the truck

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Jan 2001
    Location
    New York City
    Posts
    3,401

    Post

    The probability of any specific type of weather
    is in inverse ratio to its desirability for
    the beekeeping tasks scheduled.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Jan 2001
    Location
    New York City
    Posts
    3,401

    Post

    Everyone has a suggestion that will not work.

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Jan 2001
    Location
    New York City
    Posts
    3,401

    Post

    In situations that force the bees to choose
    between several alternative courses of action,
    the bees will consistently choose the worst
    one possible.

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    Mobile, Alabama
    Posts
    536

    Post

    The queen is easily spotted unless you are looking for her.
    Rob Koss

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Jan 2001
    Location
    New York City
    Posts
    3,401

    Post

    The scheduling of any important event where
    photographs will be taken creates stress that
    causes one's body to over-react to the next
    facial sting (which happens the day before
    the event).

    The result is consistent photo album entries that
    make people think that you are somehow related to
    "The Elephant Man". Years after you are dead and
    gone, you will be known as the "disfigured guy".

  19. #19
    Join Date
    Jan 2001
    Location
    New York City
    Posts
    3,401

    Post

    Negative expectations about a split yield negative results.
    Positive expectations about a split yield negative results.

  20. #20
    Join Date
    Jan 2001
    Location
    New York City
    Posts
    3,401

    Post

    No matter how you lay out a yard, you will
    consistently move hives and supers uphill,
    through mud.

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