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There was a fellow once, kind of a hermit, who never went anywhere....except one day he ran out of firewood. He went to Murdoch's and asked about a new ax.
The salesman said "Yes, of course we have axes, but why toil away with an ax when you can get one of these Husqvarna chainsaws. You'll be amazed how much wood you can cut with it. In fact, pardon the pun, but it'll "cut" your work in half!"
The hermit replied, "Well if it'll cut my work in half then give me two!"
I had a bum ask me for 50 cents one time and I told him I only had a dollar at which he said he had change for a dollar so I said "then it sounds like you already got 50 cents" He chased me all the way out of the parking lot cussing me out!
After a weekend, the hermit returned both chainsaws complaining that it was too much work to cut with them. The hardware clerk pulled the starter rope and the saw started with a roar and a puff of blue smoke. The hermit jumped back and shouted, "What's that noise?"
great comeback roger!