An attorney had just purchased a new Lamborghini. When he returned to his law office he parked by the curb so he could show his colleagues his hot sexy new ride.
When he opened the left door to exit the car a taxi swerved and ripped the left door right off the councilors new car. A police officer saw the whole thing, and rushed over to assist. The lawyer was screaming, “My new Lamborghini, my new Lamborghini, it’s ruined, it can never be fixed like it once was.”
The cop was a little taken back and said, “Man, don’t be so materialistic how about you left arm? It was ripped off in the accident to!” The lawyer looked down and screamed, “My Rolex, my Rolex, it’s gone!!”
Lawyer joke 2
The Pope, the Reverend Billy Graham, and Melvin Belli all arrived in Heaven at the same time. Saint Peter met them and ushered them into a golden stretch limo for the ride down the streets of gold to their homes eternal.
The limo pulled up outside a fantastic mansion and all went inside to see the digs. It was a 300 bedroom mansion with an indoor, and outdoor pool, 80 acres of formal gardens, a personal bowling alley, indoor shooting range, stables, media room, spa room, in short any thing a person could imagine to do or want was provided. Saint Peter turned to Melvin Belli and said “Councilor, your home eternal in heaven enjoy.”
Saint Peter, the Pope and Billy Graham got back into the limo and soon found them selves in a little less opulent part of Heaven. The limo stopped in front of a Brownstone looking building on a crowed street and Saint Peter ushered the Pope and the Reverend Graham up seven flights of stairs, down a linoleum-floored hall, to two doors standing ajar. Here Saint Peter bowed and said, “You Holiness, Revenant Graham, your homes eternal in Heaven, enjoy.”
The new arrivals were looking at two small rooms with a cot against one wall, a washbasin, and one naked light bulb hanging from the ceiling. Down the hall was a door marked “Showers”.
“Hold on Saint Peter,” the Pope and Billy Graham said, “There has been some mistake. We are both famous workers for Christ and have brought millions to the knowledge of the Lord and all we get is one small cell for eternity?” To which Saint Peter answered, “Gentlemen, you see in Heaven we work on supply and demand, we have millions of priests, monks, bishops, cardinals, ministers, and popes, but Melvin Belli is the first lawyer we ever got.”