The Good Samaritan
Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having
a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.
Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich,
begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in
real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says,
'Kin ya swallar?'
The woman shakes her head no.
Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?'
The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.
The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her
dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives
her right butt cheek a lick.
The woman is so shocked that she has
a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of
As she begins to breathe again,
the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his
His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there
'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed
nobody do it!'
A similar good samaritan story. Jim was in church and as he was leaving, his buddy noticed two very fresh black eyes. He asked Jim, what the heck happened? "Wull, the wider Jones was a sittin in front of me and when she stood up tu sing, I seen her dress tucked deeply into her butt. I did her a favor, tugged it out and she wallopped me a good un". "How'd ya get the other black eye, Jim?" "Wull, I figgered she wanted the dress whar it was, so's I started to tuck it back in and that's when she smacked me a good'n again! Danged if I'll do her any favors again."