Am I a bad person for doing this? [Archive] - Beesource Beekeeping Forums

Hambone

07-21-2009, 10:59 PM

If you have read my prior post you already know I am not a good person. So this is not a trick question.

I extracted about 6 gallons of Honey this weekend. Well my Mom came over tonight and saw a bunch of cases of bottled up 1/2 pints. Well she wanted a case to give out to her friends. I made her pay full sticker price for the case. Does that make me a bad person? I mean come on. It's a tuff economy right now.

I did donate a case to the Church for them to sale at some fundraiser thing. So I think they cancel everthing out and I start tomorrow on a clean slate. Right?

Beeslave

07-21-2009, 11:06 PM

kwest

07-21-2009, 11:36 PM

i agree heck look at the money and time you invested. I figure i will give out some free jars when i have plenty to employees and close /family and friends just to get some potencial customers. when someone is giving away your honey i dont think they should expect it to be free.

alpha6

07-21-2009, 11:46 PM

Heck, I always charge family double as payback of all the grief I have had to suffer being related to them. You can choose your friends but not your family so charge them out the nose...you gotta pay for that therapy somehow. :D

NorthWest_bee_guy

07-21-2009, 11:49 PM

BruinnieBear

07-21-2009, 11:58 PM

I did donate a case to the Church for them to sale at some fundraiser thing. So I think they cancel everthing out and I start tomorrow on a clean slate. Right?

Depends? If you're as bad a person as you claim, another case for the Lord cou'n't hurt?:D

Mom, probably marked it down in her book, anyway!:eek:

BB

walking bird

07-22-2009, 12:02 AM

dragonfly

07-22-2009, 12:14 AM

Did your mom ask for it for free, or did she offer to buy it? Either way, it doesn't make you a bad person. The reason I could never be in business for myself is because I have a tendency to undercharge or give stuff away. Charging for your products just means you are more business-minded and practical.

NorthWest_bee_guy

07-22-2009, 01:40 AM

You, sir, are a disgrace. :)

I never charge my parents. I never charge my mother-in-law.

Granted, the honey sent to my mother-in-law is a slightly different formulation. Involving Snarol. But even with that additional expense, I don't charge.

My parents are getting pure honey. For now.
why is he a disgrace? i can see a free jar but a case? 24 jars to a case. jars cost money, bees cost money a package is what 75 for three pounds? not including shipping charges. then hive equitment like smoker ect..
The hive bodies and frames foundation, feeding the bees in spring and fall sugar cost. medications as neeeded. can run a person 350 per hive. Charging dear old mom for a case of honey is not a disgrace. it would have been if he gave it way for free. They guy could be down on his luck and need some cash.

BruinnieBear

07-22-2009, 02:04 AM

Granted, the honey sent to my mother-in-law is a slightly different formulation. Involving Snarol. But even with that additional expense, I don't charge.

Snail and slug bait?:eek: Now, that's not nice!:no: Funny! ... but not nice!

BB

Brenda

07-22-2009, 02:07 AM

I give honey to my and my hubby's family, but tell them I need the jars back if they want more.
Since your Mom is wanting it to give away, I think she shouldn't expect you to foot the cost and yes, she should have paid something.
Although I think 1 or 2 jars could have been for her and should have been freebies? :s

DaggerD

07-22-2009, 02:31 AM

If it is for other people, you should charge. As far as giving it for free to your mom...I would say that if you have enough, it would be nice, but only if you have enough.

rkr

07-22-2009, 07:13 AM

Did she, at some point, charge you for the milk you ate as a baby? If so then definately charge her for the honey. I always say tit-for-tat when it comes to money, in the land of Milk and Honey. :D

devdog108

07-22-2009, 07:29 AM

my wife sells my mother her makeup at 50%off, a.k.a our cost. Then my mom told her that if she had gone to another Director, she would have to pay full price. So, we are now charging her full price..its a don't feel sorry for me thing.

PCM

07-22-2009, 07:45 AM

Bet you will be first in line when their will is read !!

PCM

devdog108

07-22-2009, 07:46 AM

not me, don't care ANYTHING about their money......or assets

luvin honey

07-22-2009, 08:16 AM

Business is business. As soon 1 gets it free they all want it free, but it is your mom. Those twelve jars could become 12 cases wanted next year. My parents get all the free honey they want as long it is for them. If it is going to someone else it is full price.

I totally agree :) I love sharing eggs and produce with my family, but if they're passing it out to friends then they need to pay!

dug_6238

07-22-2009, 08:17 AM

I never charge my parents.

That's honorable.

I never charge my mother-in-law.

That's impressive.

Granted, the honey sent to my mother-in-law is a slightly different formulation. Involving Snarol...
That's just darned funny.

I do give some honey away for free in small amounts, to a few folks very close to my family. These friends don't charge me for their friendship or help, and they're there any time I need them.

luvin honey

07-22-2009, 08:18 AM

dug_6238

07-22-2009, 08:20 AM

Oh my goodness!! I'm laughing out loud :D I don't even know what Snarol is, but it sounds shady!

http://www.pesticideinfo.org/Detail_Product.jsp?REG_NR=07952900001&DIST_NR=079529

Eaglerock

07-22-2009, 08:26 AM

If she is giving it out than I might. However, she is advertising you know. Mom's love to talk up their kids. I would have explained that I was looking to see that to help fund the hobby/business, and that if she wanted it I could give her smaller samples to give out, like 1 oz. if she could find some containers. Or if she really wanted what she was looking at, that I need the money for supplies, etc.

That way you don't feel like such a heal and all is well.:thumbsup:

BEES4U

07-22-2009, 08:29 AM

I made her pay full sticker price for the case.
You have set the mental thoughts in progress.
Who is cooking dinner around the hollidays? (:scratch: $ 35.00/plate plus tip. LOL)
Ernie

luvin honey

07-22-2009, 08:35 AM

If you're feeling badly about it, could you just not cash the check or return the money? Or, just enough so that your jar and label expenses are covered?

This comes into my mind every year around this time. My husband and I raise a huge patch of sweetcorn, probably a total cost of about $100. Sometimes I think all the family who gets dozens of dozens of it might want to chip in for the cost and work. But, then I usually just sell a pile to coworkers and at the farmer's market to cover the costs. I find that every time I try to charge family for something, even if it's just a fraction of the market price, I feel like a huge jerk.

OTOH, if my mom were giving away a full case of honey I would have no problem with her paying for it. Whatever she and dad want to eat, they are welcome to :)

BEES4U

07-22-2009, 08:40 AM

I feel like a huge jerk.
Someone has laid down the old "guilt trip"
Man the Manipulator is a good book to read as it covers about 10-12 different methods of manipulations.
Look out for the strong silent manipulating person,s.
Ernie

luvin honey

07-22-2009, 08:59 AM

Moms are SO good at that! They don't even need to say a word. Just a startled glance (you want me to pay?!?) and then silence with a slightly wounded air about them...

dragonfly

07-22-2009, 09:51 AM

Man the Manipulator is a good book to read as it covers about 10-12 different methods of manipulations.

Is it along the same lines as "Games People Play" from the 60's? It's probably interesting reading.

honeyshack

07-22-2009, 10:13 AM

I charge my brothers for the honey unless it is a gift. I figure they all make good money. My one brother however is down on his luck so I give him stuff along the way. We do however live 1500km away so usually it is gifts when we stay at their place.
My husbands parents get it free for themselves. His father help on the farm so he gets a special deal. Same with the eggs when we had chickens. Once they start giving to others they pay for that honey.
My husbands sister and brother in law, they pay a reduced rate. They eat a pile. Because he likes honey so, and we beleive in giving Christmas gifts that are usuable, we give him honey at Christmas. Both he and is wife have good jobs and make more money than we will see in a long time so...
Derek, if it is for your parent's use, do as your conscience sees fit. However if it is for their friends, they pay. Beekeeping and honey producing is a business. If you so chose to give honey to someone that is yours and your wife's choice and no other's.

GaryMinckler

07-22-2009, 01:06 PM

Charge your mother? That's cold man.

DRUR

07-22-2009, 01:16 PM

why is he a disgrace?

He probably knows Derek better than you. LOL, the disgrace reference was probably directly specifically towards Derek and not towards his selling to his parents?:lpf::lpf::lpf:

BEES4U

07-22-2009, 01:19 PM

from the 60's?
yes, it was on a list of suggested readings for a psychology class.
Ernie

DRUR

07-22-2009, 01:24 PM

That's just darned funny.

Nah, that's payback for all the misery. I use to eat chicita gum all the time that came in little white squares. In laws were always asking for some of my gum whenever I pulled it out for some so I bought some exlax gum that also came in the little white squares for their special requests. Hmmm, after a few trips to the bathroom they no longer asked me for gum :lpf:

DRUR

07-22-2009, 01:29 PM

If she is giving it out than I might. However, she is advertising you know. :thumbsup:

No, the post stated that she was giving it away. There is no incentive to buy the cow if you are getting the milk for free.

jdpro5010

07-22-2009, 02:11 PM

I would have charged her. I always want to be charged for things. Then there is no guilt in the future like well they didn't charge me for this so I better not charge them for that kinda thing. Keep it all out front and in the open and you will avoid a lot of problems.

:popcorn:

Hambone

07-22-2009, 05:32 PM

Ok. I think the consensus here is that I am not a bad person for charging my mom for the honey. I didn't/don't feel bad about it. I did use the cash for a good cause and did give her 2 free jars for her own use. So all in all I am still not a real good person, but not a bad one for this. :thumbsup::)

bakerboy

07-22-2009, 06:11 PM

Yes, you are a bad person. You only get one mother in life, for years she likely strived to get you what you needed and wanted. Return the favor.

The Honey Householder

07-22-2009, 07:38 PM

I'm a second generation honey producer, and my parent still just take what honey they want. Some of there account are not small either. Hey whats a few tons it's only honey.:lookout:What am I to do they are my parents.:scratch:

CentralPAguy

07-22-2009, 08:54 PM

I don't know where it falls within the commandment to "honor thy mother" but I do believe that we all have to answer to a higher power for everything we do. This includes charging your mother full price.

Maybe she punished you for staying out past curfew, when you were growing up. If so, then she should be charged full price. Maybe she showed favorites to a sibling of yours and if so, you should have charged her double.....

I think just asking us answers your question. No absolution coming from this neck of the woods. Besides, I will be too busy thinking of my own excuses on the things that I did to my parents. At least, I don't have to explain why I charged my mother full price for honey.... lol

dug_6238

07-22-2009, 08:58 PM

Ok. I think the consensus here is that I am not a bad person for charging my mom for the honey...:thumbsup::)

No to 'consensus', definitely not unanimous, and I really see no "thumbs up" given. :shhhh:

cow pollinater

07-22-2009, 09:13 PM

I inseminate cows for a living and charge roughly the same as one pound of honey in a jar is worth.
I have yet to charge anyone for less than five cows even though I have to purchase the "product" out of pocket.
I have yet to be asked for a second freebee, there is always a demand that I accept payment or a favor in return. They will accept a favor once but not twice.
I have yet to receive any complaints even after they started paying for service.
My larger customers respect that I use my talent to help others and do not at all see it as a devaluation of my product...
I haven't sold tons of honey as I leave most of it with the bees but I use the same philosophy and I haven't regreted it yet...
I say be giving of what you have and the money will come. People understand the difference between business and a favor and will have no problem paying up when it turns into business.

Noelle

07-22-2009, 11:43 PM

You're missing the point. As a parent don't you want to do everything you can to ensure your children's success? Your mom must WANT to pay for your wonderful honey. It's an excellent product, made by her son, at a fair price (that is benefiting her wonderful son) Seriously, I hope that I can help support my kids someday in whatever they choose to do as adults.

It's not like you were selling her heroin at full price:D

RayMarler

07-23-2009, 12:23 AM

Free to Mom, but her friends need to pay up. That's the way I do it here anyways, family is free, friends of family pays up.

Terry Small, Jr

07-23-2009, 12:46 AM

I do give some honey away for free in small amounts, to a few folks very close to my family. These friends don't charge me for their friendship or help, and they're there any time I need them.

I always keep a few bottles in my trunk. My friends & fam know this & I give them out freely. It's fun to give out to others, great for PR when you can give it away to anybody.

IndianaHoney

07-23-2009, 12:51 AM

If she want some to give away, charge her. As someone else said, I will not charge my family for honey, as long as it is for them, and not for someone else.

bnatural

07-23-2009, 07:27 AM

My parents are 85 years old, on a fixed income and struggling to remain independent. I subsidize them as it is. And, they sacrificed a whole lot when I was growing up, so that my sister and I could have the opportunities we had. So, asking them to pay me for honey has never even crossed my mind. I'm just glad they are still around to use it. They take a little extra to share with some of the other Seniors in their club, who are all pretty much in the same boat. That's also fine with me. Call it charity, or whatever (trust me, it's not about religion); it just makes sense to me. My sister and bro-in-law have six kids from 6 to 21 (I have none and am single). They make more than me financially, but struggle to get by, given where they live (New Jersey), their huge expenses (school is a killer), etc. So, I don't charge them, either, for the few jars I give them. Besides, my sister is an excellent cook, and I get some delicious payback.

BUT, I'm not in this to make a living. And, every family situation and every financial situation are different. Not trying to judge, just giving MY perspective and situation. Under different circumstances, I might charge my family double the going rate.

Bill

luvin honey

07-23-2009, 09:41 AM

Most of these replies are making me laugh my head off!!!

I agree with some of you that good deeds usually get repaid, often in very delightful ways. Even if they don't get repaid, if you're religious, you might consider it "laying up treasure in heaven." If you're not religious, maybe it could be called "creating good karma." I happen to think that a person almost never regrets giving of themselves to others. A very few folks will take advantage, but there's usually a way of dealing with that, like telling them that this year you had tremendous expenses and will, unfortunately, have to start charging to help recoup some of the costs. Or, just sucking it up and remembering times when you've been given more than you deserved :)

I guess we don't know your financial situation--that might be a big factor.

Okay, off my soapbox and ready to read some more hilarious responses :D

StevenG

07-23-2009, 09:54 AM

We all give honey away for various reasons. Family, friends, church, co-workers, even Christmas gifts for my wife's co-workers and bosses :gh: There's no problem at all for personal use.

But for a parent or family member to turn around and give bottled honey as a gift to their friends? If the parent doesn't pay for it, it is not a gift from them, it is a gift from the parent's child. So the parent pays. My children get all the honey they can eat...but if they want some bottled as gifts, they pay. After all, it isn't a gift from them, if they have nothing in it. :no:
fwiw

pokerman11

07-23-2009, 10:15 AM

If you neighbor is a plumber and you ask him as a friend to come help you fix your deck - then thats him just being neighborly. Now if you ask him to help you with plumbing - then you need to pay him.

Giving you mom some free honey for herself is fine, but she should not ask you for free honey for her friends as it is your income. It would be like if you are a plumber and you go fix her toliet, but she can't ask you to fix her friends.

plumbing for free.

In the end yes you may be a bad person (as per other posts) but not for this reason :)

Eaglerock

07-23-2009, 10:38 AM

If you neighbor is a plumber and you ask him as a friend to come help you fix your deck - then thats him just being neighborly. Now if you ask him to help you with plumbing - then you need to pay him.

Giving you mom some free honey for herself is fine, but she should not ask you for free honey for her friends as it is your income. It would be like if you are a plumber and you go fix her toliet, but she can't ask you to fix her friends.

:)

On the other hand, if your mom went to her friends house to work on their plumbing and she couldn't get something to work or whatever, and asked you for your help, you would say, mom you owe me X amount. lol

luvin honey

07-23-2009, 11:46 AM

Hmmm..... Not to beat this plumbing analogy to death, but plumbing is a skill. Honey production has real costs. When I offer to help a friend and it is simply using my bodily or brain skills, that's free. So, I would help my mom or her friends with their gardening. I would give them loads of veggies from my garden. But, I would not give my mom's friends loads of honey, as each jar right now is valued at about $50 in real costs :D

tct1w

07-23-2009, 12:21 PM

Well Im glad to know its just not me. I treasure every drop of honey that I get. This being my second year,really just the first harvest. About 5 gallons off two hives and have sold just about all of it. I feel like I should give all my friends some but by selling honey its still going to take me years to pay off my initial investments. Is this a hobby,agriculture or an addiction. Who knows,but mom would probably get a free pint. CU Dave

irwin harlton

07-23-2009, 12:28 PM

you only will ever have one mother. .................. you can have 1000 different wives. and belong to alot of different churches

Slee

07-23-2009, 03:32 PM

If the jars were just for your mother and your families use that would one thing, but if she is giving it out to her friends then that is another.
I have been a pastor for 22 yrs and good deeds don't cancell out bad ones. It would be nice if it did but how would you keep track? You would hate to get to heaven and find out your numbers were not correct. lol
:eek::eek:
Steve

Cedar Hill

07-23-2009, 07:03 PM

Terry Small wrote,"I always keep a few bottles in my trunk. My friends & fam know this & I give them out freely. It's fun to give out to others, great for PR when you can give it away to anybody." I do the same but it's used as a tip instead of money. Anyone who does work for me, esp. the tradesmen who do recurring yearly work get their yearly bottle. It has paid for itself many times over in quality service. Very worthwhile habit.
As to charging your mother for a few bottles? As someone already wrote, it will be returned to you in different ways. OMTCW

Countryboy

07-23-2009, 10:46 PM

If my Mom wanted some honey for personal use, I 'might' give her a bottle if I was feeling generous and too drunk to be able to regret it later. (and I don't drink.)

If my Mom wanted a case of honey, I would sell it to her at wholesale price. (I try to be a nice guy.) If she wants to market it to her friends, that's fine with me. It's up to her to negotiate the price with her friends - she can sell to them wholesale, or she can sell retail price to them...or somewhere in between.

As for donating to the church, I'm having difficulties finding that Levite priest.

terri lynn

07-23-2009, 11:30 PM

My mom and stepdad get all the free honey they want. They've helped me with tons of stuff and had me to steak, salmon, halibut, etc. dinners more times than I can count while renovations going on and no stove at my house. And sent me home with leftovers. And they would insist on paying for any they were going to give as gifts. As she did with soap products I made. Dad and brother get honey as well because they help me anytime I need to move hives, etc. Grandparents do because they're over 90 (and keep a hive at their house as well).

Outside of that I have thought it could be a "sticky" situation. I haven't had to deal with it yet, but am sure some will think of it as getting the extra squash from your garden. But it is a business, and even when it's a hobby, there are plenty of costs involved - from extracting equipment and honey bottles to the initial hives and bees. I guess it becomes a matter of how to tactfully convey that to friends and family. Maybe getting a small size for a 1st bottle free or selling 1st bottle at a big discount and letting them know it's regular price after that? Or knocking a small amount off regular price for them so they feel they're getting a break, but you're still making better than wholesale. :scratch:

As for Mom getting some to give - you can always sell it at a discount - enough to make a bargain for her while still making a profit yourself. Or trade it for that family heirloom you've always wanted! ;)